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Oh yes, we’re going there. If you’re a familiar face, my weirdo culinary antics will come at no surprise. I eat strange-core.

I’m excited to finally participate in Laura’s Strange But Good link up. Go check out what the other weirdos are doing every Friday.

(If you want.)

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I’ve confessed my love for the Peanut Butter, lettuce and mayo sandwich before. Now I’d like to show you how it’s really done.

I introduce you to the (P)BLT & Nayo.

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Like a BLT but with Peanut Butter instead of bacon. Add bacon if you’re into it for sure. So good.

Assemble Ingredients:

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Note: this is not a (P)BLT sandwich in the traditional sense because bread is so 2008 is complicated for me. I use lettuce “buns.” It’s like a salad you can eat with your hands!

To make a good lettuce bun you lob a bit off the side of the head and cut down following the natural curve. 
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The next part is hard to explain. Balance some of the larger leaves and some of the smaller leaves for each half.

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Whatever.. you’ll get it.

Then it’s Captain Obvious time. PBLT 005

Peanut Butter, tomatoes and Vegenaise OR regular mayo (Those are your only two options.. none of that nayonaise nastiness. Ugh.)

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You could stop there… but why?

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I add onions and half sour pickles, of course.

Because Pickles and Peanut Butter.

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BOOM. There you have it.
Now go play!
Put it between bread or in a wrap. Add meat if you want. Leave out the mayo (jealous mayo haterz).

Basically what I am saying is this:
Peanut Butter on your sandwich. It’s not just for Jelly anymore.

*I capitalize Peanut Butter (and Jelly) out of principal and personal doctrine.

Don’t forget to go over to Laura’s blog for SBG Friday (and then subscribe!)

  • Lay it on me! You know I love the honesty. Will you would you try it? Did I gross you out? Mildly intrigued? Feeling queasy?
  • What is something you eat that would be considered strange but good?
  • What do you use as the plural of tomato (and potato)?

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I’ve been eating lots of eggs lately – or eggz, rather. Since my “eggs” come from a carton most of the time,  I refer to them as eggz. Because.

I’ve been hooked on eating them a way I call flat-out. I think I may have invented it but probably not.

I received questions about it when I showed then told about my pickle and PeaBee “Pizza” thing. Thing. *giggle*

I eat “things.”

Here’s the deal behind the egg part of that thing.

I fill a Pam sprayed 9” cake pan (or two) with 1 cup of eggz. Preset oven to 450…bake for 20 minutes…flip for a few more and boom. 
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You can continue to bake to get a firmer, crispier, chewier* flat. You can also play around with the amount of eggs and cooking times.

*Rubberier? I make no claims for my peculiar taste preferences so if you try this and hate it …*shrug* then I don’t know what. lol.

I put them on a rack to cool. I do not know why I do this. It’s optional.  Sometimes I cut them into quarters and halves.

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Sometimes I cut them in small squares or strips…
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Sometimes I leave them full and make pizzas or fold some beans and stuff things inside and eat like a soft taco…

And sometimes…

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Don’t tell me you didn’t see that coming.

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It’s like a PBJ sandwich except one thing…it’s totally NOT like a PBJ sandwich. Nor a tortilla wrap, nor a pizza crust.

It just is what it is.

Flat Out Eggz.

I like them things.

I eat things.

****Aside:

I just thought to google this before I hit publish (because this still hasn’t gotten old for me) and look what I found…

This blog writes itself.

  • So let’s “talk” … what are your HONEST thoughts about my flat out eggz.
  • How do you like your eggs or do you eschew them?

 

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I spent last night canoodling in my pajamas.

No, I haven’t “met someone” and relinquished my single girl status.

I canoodled my radish. <— oh dear. that sounds naughty.

*ahem*

 

I made daikon-noodles.

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What’s it takes to turn this:

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into this?

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Mad skillz for starters. Or a mandolin.

(I’m mandolin-less but madskillz-full.)

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And LOTS of canoodling.

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Thrilling.

Here the deal:

You julienne your daikon, sprinkle it with sea or kosher salt and let it sit. The salt extracts water from the radish and it begins to soften. The daikon gets sort-of noodley. Noodlish?

Every 20 minutes or so canoodle your noodle…..or massage your radish.

(Oh good grief.  I swear I am typing this just shaking my head and wondering where this stuff comes from. )

Give it a juuzsh.

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The longer you let it sit, the softer it will get. (Oh dear. This could get ugly but let’s not.)

Um…rinse the salt from the radish, drain and … boom. Delicious daikon “noodles in the raw.” I like it just like that, maintaining some of the crisp-crunch. (I plan on fermenting this batch into kimchi.)

You can also boil julienned radish until it gets super-duper soft and much more noodle-esque. Top with marina sauce and nutritional yeast or peanut sauce. Yum.

Noodelicious.

**images

Daikons are good canoodlers.

PS- Add calories and protein and fat and all that….

**not my picture

 

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If you take the corn out of a tortilla chip, can you still call it a tortilla chip? Hmm..good question.

Either way – I found some corn-free chips that make me smile.

You read that correctly. No Corn. It’s a chip even Clean Eating Chelsea can eat. Hooray!

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I found Beanitos on the interweb and instantly fell in love. First of all, the company is based in Austin, Texas where cool people live. (I used to be one).

I also love the idea of taking corn out of the equation. Corn is ubiquitous in our diets. Avoiding it is kind-of like socking it to “The Man.”

By using beans and rice in lieu of corn, these chips are a source of complete protein. Score!

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The ingredients list is super clean.

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Check out those flax seeds!

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They taste a bit like a deep-fried Mary’s Gone Cracker. Sounds good, right?

Yes, they’re fried. Fat-free they are not. (Thank goodness. One more “free” and they’d look like a healthy-label whore.) 

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Anyways, it’s apple season! Why not pair a non-traditional chip with a non-traditional salsa?

Here’s how I made mine, so you get the idea.

Apple-Cucumber Salsa

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  • 1 cup diced English (Seedless) cucumber
  • 1 cup diced Macintosh Apple (Macs are firm, crisp and tangy sweet)
  • 3/4 cup diced red onion (I LOVE onions…use your judgment)
  • 1 teaspoon lemon juice
  • 1/2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
  • Cayenne to taste
  • Cumin to taste
  • Sea Salt
  • Optional – sweetener of choice (I used a packet of Splenda)
  • Optional – couple dashes of light olive oil or canola oil.
  • Fresh cilantro or mint would rock this salsa out; I didn’t have any.

Put everything in a container and stir. (Duh). Surprisingly the apples stay crisp and do not brown for days in the fridge. The longer the flavors have a chance to wed,  the better the salsa.

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Any interesting salsa concoctions you’d like to share?

PS- I still can’t believe I used the word whore. What has come over me?

PPS- The people from Beanitos were kind enough to send me these chips when I could not find them locally. (Thanks guys!)

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I’m crazy about Brassica.

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Readers who came here for fun not for fancy-word learning say WHAT?”

 Brassica is the family of vegetables us common folk refer to as “greens.” Spinach, Kale, Collards, Brussels, Broccoli…etc. It’s one big happy family of nutritional powerhouses and I can’t get enough.

I love ’em like a fat kid loves cake.*

*Raise your hand if you think I’m hilarious.

I’m a bit of a BRASSica Monkey.

Beastie Boys anyone? (Click here for the soundtrack to this recipe.)

Brassica Monkey Salad

Vegan, Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free, FDA approved, Dentist Recommended

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Basically, this is a massaged Kale salad with cannellini beans, tomato, onion and steamed broccoli. But I gave it a name. That makes it mine.

First you have to massage your Kale (<—-it helps to say this in a seductive voice.) Tear the Kale into bite size pieces (no stems).  Add dressing and sea salt and *seductive voice* Massage.

I used this dressing:

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I LOVE this stuff. Check out the ingredients.

Can you spot the Brassica?

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I also used nutreast.

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When your done working the Kale, let it Chill in the fridge for a while. IMG_0040

Rinse, drain and dry your beans. Steam your broccoli. Chop your onion and tomato. Then…make a salad!

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This salad has fats, carbs and protein. For a heartier meal, add grain or pasta and tofu, fish or veggie burger. Quinoa would be an excellent addition; adding protein and carbs in one fell swoop.

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By the way, if you eat Brassica Monkey Salad here’s how ya feel:

You put your left leg down, your right leg up”

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Tilt your head back

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and finish it up!”

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That Funky Monkey.

  • What’s your favorite salad combo?
  • Have you ever *voice* massaged your Kale? Have you gone all the way with it and made *gasp* Kale chips?

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My father is a wise man.  His colorful aphorisms have peppered my life.

Of his many tropes, my favorite is about acquisition:

If you can’t eat it,

and it doesn’t make you money…

what good is it?

I recognize there are many things wrong with this statement. Clearly- this is not the logic to use when considering things like having a child or adopting a pet.

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My father would buy me as many books as I wanted. He sent me to camp each summer and encouraged me in extra-curricular activities. He knows the importance of enjoying life’s pleasures.  In fact, he is cruising the British Isles as I write this.

This is not the logic to employ when navigating life’s more philosophical pursuits.

No- This is the type of logic one needs to pack when navigating the aisles of Target.

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When you head to Target for two things:

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It is quite easy – dare I say unavoidable – to be distracted by items you do not need. Items you never knew you wanted until you saw them.

If You Can't Eat it

They are “out of sight, out of mind” items. You easily fall for them upon first sight – and they are quickly forgotten when you walk away. Unless they wind up in your shopping cart.

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It’s during these pivotal moments when I hear my father’s voice. 

If you can’t eat it and it doesn’t make you money, what good is it?”

I’m often able to walk away.

Did I leave Target with just two things? Ah, hail naw. I’m female human.

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I picked up a new bathing suit (my pool eats a bathing suit every two weeks), a travel tumbler (saves money in the long run) and some nude eye shadow (why do I even bother?). All practical items.

Then, you know, I saw these. They don’t make you money.

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But you can eat them.

You can eat them together!

Lightly steam your carrots, sprinkle with gomasio and make this nutty dip:

Far-East Nutty Dip Baby Dip

  • 3 T nut butter (I used the almond, peanut & cashew blend from Target)
  • 2 T Bragg’s Aminos  or soy Sauce
  • 2-3 T water for desired consistency.
  • Cayenne, Garlic Powder and Sweetener to taste.

Nuke it and stir until smooth, it thickens as it cools.

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Totally Money.

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Dip Baby Dip!!!

Oh, and about that sparkling coconut La Croix. IMG_0024

Not for everyone, but I like it. Tastes like the smell of suntan lotion.

Curious? If you put it on your Target list now, you won’t feel so bad when it winds up in your cart later.

 

  • What was your last Target acquisition? If you don’t have a target by you I don’t know whether to pity you or envy you…
  • Do you like to steam or blanch your veggies for crudite? I always do.
  • Did/does your Dad have any sayings?

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I forget we are at war.

Forget” is an understatement, actually. What I experience is a non-reckoning most days weeks months.

This is sad. <— gross understatement

Lives have been lost and more will follow. I can’t even imagine the hardships of families whose loved ones are serving. Marriages and families are in jeopardy. What’s it like when your husband or father has spent 5 of the past ten years at war? What’s it like to be shot at everyday?

I wish I could say I thought of it more often. I don’t.

Case in Point:

Even today, of all days, I found myself thinking about…food (of course). I’m not alone. This I know. For many, Memorial Day is mostly just a day off work and a backyard barbeque.

“Look, hon, Saving Private Ryan is on. Oh yeah, that’s right it’s Memorial Day!”

But, you know, we’re human. It’s All Good.

I was thinking about red, white and blue and it occurs to me the only blue food I can think of (from the earth, mind you) is blueberries.

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I guess there are blue potatoes….

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which I have consumed only in this form by the way:

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But really? What else is there? And besides–they look more purple to me.

There’s not a lot of blue in the fruit and vegetable color spectrum. Purple? Yes. But blue is very rare.

Why? Is it biologically unappealing? (I must google this sometime) 

My point? I have none. Really.<—understatement

But since I was thinking about blueberries I thought I would share a recipe.

Sugar-Free Flour Free Blueberry Loaf (Individual)

I rarely make these, but they are pretty tastey and you can make them with blueberries, too (unpictured).

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  • 1oz oats
  • 1/4 c egg whites
  • 1.5 oz mashed banana
  • 2 oz yogurt
  • 1.5 t baking powder
  • add blueberries till your content
  • 1 or two packets of sugar substitute.

Combine ingredients, pour in mini loaf pan and bake at 400 for 40 minutes. Experiment! You get the idea. Tastes like…well..it tastes like a sugar-free flour free loaf. It’s good, though, I promise.

Happy Memorial Day, try not to think morbid thoughts. Let’s just be grateful that we live in a country where it is possible to be so self-indulgent and self-centered most of the time.

I am grateful that the only explosions I hear are fireworks on the Fourth of July.

But today I remember (for a little while) that it comes at a price.

  • Can you tell me about a blue fruit or vegetable I am missing out on?
  • Does blue food aesthetically appeal to you? Maybe that is why it is in short supply.
  • How does the war affect you on a daily basis..or does it?

 

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