So. Another week come and gone with no blogwriting-mojo but here I am now.
Just gonna flow … stream of consciousness …
Try not to drown.
One of the reasons why I enjoy to write here is because I enjoy YOU. Who is “you,” you ask? YOU. Yes you.
Your comments and friendlies and the fact that for the most part you GET me.
That being said…
Yup. Still hanging around here in meh-sville (which as I write this I am realizing is the same neighborhood as ME-sville and yes I am so all up in myself right now it’s pathetic.)
I realize to everything a season and that I must be feeling this way with reason and for purpose. But still…
Not a cool place to be.
Especially for me.
I’m usually able to find the bright side, the sunny side, the rainbows…
Or, you know…I eat my way there.
My cutest friendly ‘”brick house” Katie shared some great quotes the other day – one of which was:
And me – in my meh-sville/me-sville “mememe” mental mode – got personal in her comments section.
“I have a whole mental “thing” about that word. Since High School I’ve always said…
“I just don’t know how to be”
My friends would ask “how to be … what?” or “how to be ..when?”
And I’m like…
“No … I just don’t know how to just be.”
I’m always and have always been shifting and thinking and swirling …
wondering, wandering, waiting, wanting…
I long to be.
Breathe and God’s Presence takes me to that place every.single.time.
So, the “be” thing is amplified about eleventy gazillion percent toi the ninth power with this weight gain and body discomfort. Which – is necessary should I choose top recover.
This is always ALWAYS my breaking point and I am devoting so much energy to BE-ing in this skin.
My friend Rachel has been helping me, allowing me to share the specifics and she wrote something to me that really moved me.
And then she made it a picture for me to have.
I’m trying to learn to dance in my own skin despite the discomfort.
No –wait! I’m not done yet.
Peanut Butter is delicious.