I get gas.
Not gas as in petrol, but stomach gas. Rest assured, this post isn’t about farts. (Though fart jokes are amusing). This post is about me clearing the air, not the room.
Allow me to dispel a myth:
Having Gas does not equate to …um… dispelling gas.
The letter F is not for flatulence in my case.
Digesting food produces gas. Sometimes in excess, causing your stomach to expand like a balloon. (Or in my case a dirigible).
Usually the excess gas finds its escape (one way or the other). Sometimes it gets trapped, causing incredible discomfort, bloating, and cramping. That’s my issue. I trap gas.
I also get short of breath and EXTREME anxiety. I’m talking snakes-and-monkeys-having-nervous breakdowns…on a plane.
The last thing you need when grappling with disordered eating or body image issues is to have your stomach suddenly expand to a capacity you never thought possible.
You may jump to conclusions: I am fat. I ate too much. I should never eat again. I am a freak of nature. I had no clue what was up.
Why so excited? Because it means I’m normal (maybe, kinda, sorta). My massive stomach is not caused by sudden weight gain or too much food. Maybe I can deal.
I never equated my stomach issues with “having gas” because I associated “having gas” with “passing gas” – which wasn’t happening.
Then one day it happened. I fluffed (that’s what I call it, okay?). My stomach felt better exactly 0.000111 milliseconds after. (I told you I was relieved.) I figured it all out. I’m not a fatso, I’m a fartless.
Can you relate? Here are three things that help me.
1. Examine your diet. Know the foods that cause gas. Here’s a good list. In my situation, changing my diet is not an option.
Foods that cause gas = EVERYTHING I EAT.
I get by with a little help from my OTC friends. I take beano before every meal. Sometimes I take Gas-X or Phayzyme if I’m feeling distress afterward.
2. Wearing dresses helps. I still feel yucky but at least my waistband is not cutting off my circulation and compounding my anxiety.
3. Last but not least CHEW YOUR FOOD. Think you got that one down pat? Think again. There is a macrobiotic saying that we should “chew our drink and drink our meals." Look into it (if you want).
If you found this helpful my work here is done. You are not alone. There is help for people like us.
If you have no troubles with trapped gas, be proud of your pooting prowess. Toot your own horn.
PS- There are plenty of more ways to save on Gas. (Avoid carbonated beverages and chewing gum. Soak or sprout your beans, grains and nuts, use Kombu during the cooking process, etc.) Use your noodle Google.
PPS- Before I forget, I am not a doctor.