My focus of late is taking care of myself — a rather foreign concept for me. I have much to learn. I started “checking in” with myself throughout the day. I ask myself how I’m feeling, what I feel like doing, what my body needs, etc…and I try to nurture and provide for myself based on my answers.
This is groundbreaking stuff for me.
When it comes to self-help and spiritual development literature I have “read-heard-lather-rinse-repeat-been-there-and-bought-the-t-shirt.” Yet, I have never been able to actually implement it.
Take deep Breaths…Drink Green Tea…yadda, yadda. Yeah, I totally agree. Makes sense. But somehow I never get around to it….probably because I am too busy freaking out and thinking ED thoughts. (0:
Now here I am *finger quotes* Checking In with Myself.
And it rocks my socks.
It’s no picnic in paradise, mind you. But it is awesome nonetheless.
Suddenly, I am getting to know myself, explore myself.
It’s like I’m spinning into my cocoon, where I have to figure out who I am and what I’m made of before I’m able to see what I can become.
It’s very uncomfortable at times. I have to face some ugly thinks. Ugly feelies.
I might check in and find myself incredibly lonely or anxious and impatient or feeling fat. And I don’t know why. But now, I can begin sorting all that out and trying to make myself feel better – rather than spinning out of control and acting out the crazies.
I feel like I can corral a little of the insanity.
Like “Checking Myself In,” you know what I mean?
Then at times, it is quite pleasant. I realize I feel good. Alive. Hopeful. Like Dancing. Relaxed. interested. I feel ridiculous quite often. At these times I am very pleased. I might have glossed over this finery before. That’s when: