The past two months have been pretty rough –particularly on the ED front. The wicked witch of eatingdisorderville has been relentless in her pursuit. I guess I just didn’t have the energy to fight back. In fact, I pretty much climbed on her broomstick with her and let her take me for a ride.
For a while now, God has been working in my heart, leading me to recognize that (a) not only do I need treatment, but (b) I actually want treatment. I have been thinking about it a lot, imagining what it would be like for me to be inpatient, reading recovery stories…trying to imagine all my life might be and all the while becoming more and more aware of how bereft and empty it is now.
The universal truth is: tomorrow never comes.
There are only todays.
Today I am thinking about ruby red slippers and yellow brick roads. Except I know better than to think some wizard can help me find my way home.
The tin man recognized his heart, the scarecrow discovered his wisdom, and the lion found his courage and strength. But all they needed was to be themselves and put aside their insecurities.
I’m thinking I can put on my big girl panties (and my ruby reds) and uncover who I am inside. Uncover, discover, recover my self.
So for now….let’s see what I can manage on my own.
I just need to take my steps forward and keep my focus…”there’s no place like home…there’s no place like home…”