Moment Of Zen: Peanut Butter Porn

Happy National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day!

Enjoy….

MMMmmmm.

Hello Peanut Butter Man.

 

That movie has some of the best all-time lovemaking scenes. I’m not crazy about sex scenes in movies (most of them offend my senses like nails on a chalkboard) but this one?

Absolutely scintillating.

The scenes are plot-advancing, not salacious or excessive. The camera angles, the lighting, the acting, the gorgeous couple (how is Claire so perfect?)… pure class.

The scenes are emotional, tasteful and, well.. super hot.

Like whoa.

Brad Pitt.

Peanut Butter.

Happy Friday.

• Just now as I’m typing this I just realized that in my last post I mentioned peanutbuttercock and now I write this? Just….. lol… I have no words.
  Typical me. This blog writes itself.
  I PROMISE I’m not hiding some sick fetish or anything…

• How will you be celebrating Peanut Butter Lover’s Day tonight? (Because if you’re not I don’t wanna know)

I haven’t eaten PeaBee since last Tuesday (what the whaaa??) and so tonight I will either be spooning with it, putting down on a pickle or rocking PBJ Flat Out style like here..

or maybe on bread (gasp!).

Let me just be honest, probably all three with the way I’ve been at it of late. ◔_◔

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Read This and You’ll Know Why I Can’t Think of a Title

I’ve been lacking desire and motivation to get out of bed in the morning blog lately.

And really? Nothing to see here ….

 

Except replace the laptop with shameful amounts of reality television and vino. No shame in that game.

(Actually, I don’t watch the Kardash–iansanity but you get it.)

But the point remains: GET.OVER.IT.

Speaking of getting over it, it’s taking pretty much every ounce of energy I got to exist beat this funky-dunk.

I need intervention.

What I have been doing ……

……is not helping. Too much of a good thing is binge eating not good.

I’ll get back up soon.
I am sure.

No, really. I’m sure.

See? Still giggling.
I’ll find my way.

We all have to find our own way, you see… … to THE way.

(Oh look at me…come for the pickles and butterflies and stay for the deep philophosophical shiz and yes I know that is spelled wrong say it out loud and pretend like you are talking to me and now you know I talk in run-ons when I want to.)

 

We all have different ways of finding our way to THE way…

I’m glad I know which direction to head in; and glad to know I’ve a hand to hold, a steady path to follow, and a lamp to guide my way there.

But you know…I have to get out of bed and face life make a lot of changes in order to “pick up my mat” and walk.

 

• I like to  close comments when I write such a nothing but a sad hag update because…really?

  However, if you would like to comment please tell me your “not-so-shameful-except-really-they-can-be” indulgences? Are they truly indulgences or have they become vices?

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Most Likelys…or Likelies

The man behind me at the checkout counter had NO idea what he was getting into when he asked me how to cook asparagus.

“Let me tell you ALL the ways!!!”

True?
Most likely.

#asparagusaddict

You may be a little “off” if you love asparagus enough to pose with it and post the picture on the internet in a ridiculous fashion. Ain’t nobody want to see that.

True?
Most likely*.

There may be something strange about a single-girl in a one bedroom apartment that owns two vacuums (and has a Dyson on her wishlist for lottery days).

True?  Most likely.

My sudden insatiable olive consumption is probably my body’s way of telling me it could use some fat and salt, please. Cannot. Stop. With. Them.

True? Most likely.

The fact that my beloved Peanut Butter and Jelly has been sequestered to my cupboard** for an unprecedented amount of days (weeks?) may explain the salt and fat cravings.

True?
Most likely.

   

The absence of Peanut butter interest as well as a waning appetite may be substantial cause for my concern. After all, this is not the first time this has happened and …cause and effect arguments aside… it’s telling.

True?

Most likely.

But.

That part of me that should be concerned? That part so charged up and full of moxie? I’m having a hard time locating it. Searching has become exhausting. The mojo is so illusive. I find myself wondering if I imagined it?

#tiredlosinghopeicantdoubtfearetc.

And I mean…after all. It’s just peanut butter. It’s food. My weight is stable despite and all I have to do for now is maintain and the holidays are coming up and …and…. but.

Anything “after-but”  is sh*t.

Lately – as I have many times over the months – I’ve been channeling the words of my awesomest inspiring friend, Mel.

She is the one who passed along these bracelets. I wear them everyday since.

With them, she wrote me an incredibly moving letter. 

One part just…struck me. Stuck with me. It left a mark. For the better.

“Some say recovery is a continual journey. I say that is bullshit. Recovery either is or is not. I chose “is.”

Yup.

Whatever I do…It will be my choice. So…about this peanut butter situation and the jaws theme song I hear playing in the background? I either decide to stay in the water and ignore the lifeguard…..or I start swimming toward the beach.

(Funny how what’s dangerous seems safe and the safe harbor seems scary. Fear is imaginary. Fear tells us what is like-ly, but it’s not. It’s like-lies.)

I have a choice:

1) Flirt with getting eaten alive and drowning after a life of fear or struggle…or

2) Work my azz off and swim against rip tides toward shore (and hopefully a hot lifeguard.)

But I need to take responsibility and OWN my decision.

I choose. I decide. 

I better choose wisely.

It’s a choice between life and death.

Is that even a choice at all?

One of the Optional Prompt for NHBPM is “Write about life and death” .Previous posts can be found here. Also – I will not be doing the 30 in 30 thang. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Or…okay fine, I just can’t hack it. Not for me.  LOL. So many bloggers I love posting everyday and – that’s probably why I like them because they are more interesting than I am.

 

 

*Totally True. Posing with asparagus? This whole blog? LOL. Ridiculous.

** (yup, I say cupboard, and cabinets are where the plates go and pantries are big like closets.)

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I Am How I Am

One of the most difficult questions you could ever ask me is

“How are you?”

Such a loaded question. Most often asked on auto-pilot. I’ve never known how to answer it, which is usually what I tell people when they ask. 

I used to bust out my Big Gay Al….

 

But it’s not 1997 anymore and well…it’s lost on most people. (But not “my people”… if you know what I mean. We know what’s what.)

So for the past decade or so I have resorted to simply stating..

“I am.”

 

That’s how I be.

It’s probably lost on most people. (Weirdo)

But Whatever. Totally Fine.

Because if I started to get into it….

Girl? Put away your serious. Ain’t nobody wanna see that.

…I might hit you with something like this:

(get ready to rock-&-scroll)

Is it July yet? I knew June was going to be hard, but this is just nasty.
I have been in THE funk to end all funks …. and I’m not talking George Clinton P-funk. Nope.
I’ve been breathing and being and smiling and taking each day at a time, yet I’m unable to escape the underlying stench of stankazz funk just festering inside. Yuck.

This weekend it all came to a crescendo, like a tsunami. (Does anyone say tidal wave anymore or did that go out of style too?)

The funk did what it had to do, leaving me a washed up wreck for a bit. I’m all soggy and stuff but at least the worst is over? I keep thinking all of this turmoil is part and parcel of a deeper transformation. For the better.

Now that I’m over the crest, I feel a bit more able to move onwards and upwards….get my good funk on.

Heehee.

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Love the Ones You’re With

Anything I would write about tonight seems silly and ridiculous. Well, it’s all-the-time silly and ridiculous (and grammatically quirky) but you know what I mean.

Anything that is, except this:

Go hug someone and tell them you love them.

Nobody close by? Pick up the phone. Shoot the email (who coined that term?). Send the letter. Drop a love bomb on their facebook page. Tweet it if that’s your thing. Just do something.

Tell a loved one how you feel. 

My brother would often call me when we were both on our morning commutes. For the record, I am not a morning star and the conversations weren’t stellar. But you know what? Now I cherish every one.

So let’s do it. Now. Because we can.

And then do it again tomorrow. And repeat.

“You never know what will be coming down.”

-Jackson Browne.

Good song.

  

 

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Melissa, A story

It’s story time.

One of my best friends, Brooke, wrote a children’s book for me in college. Nothing published, just a little gift for me. Because.

*Melissa’s my name, Missy a nickname, I answer to both.

I cherish it. Not because it’s about me, but because it shows how much she knows me. She pretty much sums it up (well, it’s a little over the top but it’s kiddie lit).

For me, It’s the story of how beautiful a genuine friendship is. The beauty in connecting with someone who knows you through and through, and values every bit.

The inscription:

Remember you have the beauty that is the essence of life and all that is natural. Even the bee, who is sometimes misunderstood because of it’s sting, is a marvel of nature that spreads cheer, happiness and love.

*Melissa is the Greek word for “honeybee.” Also? Brooke and I are both just hippies at heart.

*I’m a genuinely friendly girl, it’ s who I am. My “honey’s” not sweet all the time (ask my mom!). I’m human. Plus, that would be annoying. And fake.

*Stupid eating disorder. It ain’t over… Don’t ever say never. 

Love you, Brookie!

When the hey-now are we gonna get started on that book of ours?

And remember our greeting card series? Oh! And remember…….

Tell me about a special friend you have. How well do they know the real you? When did you realize?

 

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Accept

So, we’ve celebrated the birth of Christ. The wondrous, unconceivable belief that GOD has given His ALL to us…because he loves YOU. This gift, among many we may have received, trumps them all.

Now? Now is the time for acceptance.

Acceptance of this Divine Grace, Forgiveness and LOVE that is absolutely, beyond comprehension, UNCONDITIONAL.

I watched a sermon today and was struck by these words:

“The past is a place of reference, not a place of residency.”

We learn from it. We don’t live there. Labels? Labeling ourselves and others (the recovering alcoholic, the former anorexic, the divorcee, the victim of abuse…etc..) only holds us back from who we are meant to be.

And so often we do it to ourselves. We cling, we label ourselves, we punish ourselves, our identities become who we have been.

FORGAVE and LOVED are the only true labels now.

So, in these days following Christmas, I want to abandon myself to the wondrous glorious excitement of this gift. Much as a child loses herself in her new toy.

Let’s just accept and ENJOY the gift of grace. Let’s experience the inevitable sense of boredom with that which was our past….the “toys” that entertained our mind with self-annihilation are no longer fun.

Let’s lavish ourselves in excitement of the greatest gift of all.

Grace. Forgiveness.

Unconditional and Unfailing LOVE.

Amen?

Gives us plenty of time for the new year, because…love demands a response.

 

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