Storytime: There’s No I in Try (but there should be)

Gather around boyfriends and girlfriends…settle down and grab a seat. Criss cross applesauce.Shhh….inside voices.

It’s time for a story. Today’s share?

Interpreted by Miss. Caterpillar

That would be me.

We have to learn a whole lot of stuff during our lives. Growing up, we had to master skills that now come naturally to us. Like walking and talking. And making cereal.

But even when we’re grown, life continues to require us to learn. Sometimes we learn things that aren’t good for us. Bad habits like spending too much, having a short temper, smoking or eating too much.

We find ourselves flat on our backs.

 

Sometimes we have to re-learn skills that should be natural to us but aren’t — like how to do life without a vice.

There are people to help us get on our feet, books to read and support meetings to attend, prayer to be done. But even God wants us to succeed on our own so we are stronger.

Ultimately we’re on our own.

Change takes a lot of practice. We find ourselves flat on our backs again.

And again.

Loved ones can encourage us, but they can’t do it for us. Even though we know better, we continue to do the things we don’t want to do. We’re clumsy.

But we’re not defeated. We try again. And again.

One day something’s going to click.

We’ll find the motivation we need – even if it means being scared shirtless. You go bankrupt, your marriage falls apart, your health deteriorates. Your motivation to change becomes stronger than the will to stay the same. 

Something will click, I have faith. Sooner or later…

We nail the landing. Score a perfect 10 and take home the Gold.

That victory will be worth all the time spent on our backs wondering how the heck we’re gonna get it right. Amen?

You can learn a lot from a beetle.

• What’s one change you’ve made that you’re proud of?
• Is there something in your life you are being clumsy about?

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Hey Mom, Guess What???

It never fails.

Me: “Mom, you know what?”

June: “What?”

Me: “Come on, Mom…Guess. Guess what?”

June: Sigh… “What??”

Me: Chicken Butt!!

It gets her every time. She’s a constant victim of my ridiculosity.

What can I say? I like to see her smile.

We look alike, no?

I recently wrote about beautiful scars. My Mom has an unfair share of them. Really. It’s not fair.

Here’s just a peek.

Physical scars would include those from four total hip replacements and a knee replacement. She was younger than I am when a Doctor’s mistake caused her joints to erode beyond repair, forcing her to undergo drastic surgery (it wasn’t the quick fix it is today) and leave her in constant pain for the rest of her life.

She fought discrimination in order to graduate nursing school. The head of the nursing department told her she wouldn’t be allowed to finish and she should think about another profession. No hospital would allow her to finish her clinical courses at their facilities; they didn’t want the liability. Without those clinical hours she could never be an RN. She was discouraged, but not beaten. Threats of a lawsuit from a state advocate got the schools attention and she graduated.

All of this while raising children. Her role as a Mother came early in life, in her teens. That couldn’t have been easy.

About those children? She has watched us struggle with alcohol and drug addition, divorce, tragedy, single parenthood, and an eating disorder.

She watched her husband fall ill to a disease which paralyzed him for a year. Though his nerves grew back, he still has trouble walking. I don’t think he’d have gotten through it without her.

Our pain is her pain. She does all she can to help — all the while knowing there is nothing she can really do.

Then she lost a child. That’s left the biggest scar of all — on her heart. When you lose a spouse you are a widow. Losing a parent makes you an orphan. But there is no term to describe what you become when you lose a child.

So see why I like to see my mom smile?

I got her this card for Mother’s Day:

I know I look nothing like the little girl in the picture, but suffice it to say she made a real freaky human in 1978.

“I’m here, I’m weird, Get used to it.”

(Yes, it’s me. Florida girl. Always in a bathing suit.)

And she might deny it, but I KNOW she has a freak flag of her own to fly.

 

I clearly did not inherit her mammary genes. Nor do I think I inherited her strength. Maybe I will grow into it. I hope so. My mother is the strongest woman I know.

She always tells me :

“Build a bridge and get over it.”

Coming from anyone else that would seem dismissive (and really annoying). But she’s earned the right to say that; she means it. She’s done it. She had to.

She is on a cruise right now, so on her card I gave her my own words of wisdom:

See what I mean? Constant victim of my ridiculosity.

 

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