Moment Of Zen: Peanut Butter Porn

Happy National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day!

Enjoy….

MMMmmmm.

Hello Peanut Butter Man.

 

That movie has some of the best all-time lovemaking scenes. I’m not crazy about sex scenes in movies (most of them offend my senses like nails on a chalkboard) but this one?

Absolutely scintillating.

The scenes are plot-advancing, not salacious or excessive. The camera angles, the lighting, the acting, the gorgeous couple (how is Claire so perfect?)… pure class.

The scenes are emotional, tasteful and, well.. super hot.

Like whoa.

Brad Pitt.

Peanut Butter.

Happy Friday.

• Just now as I’m typing this I just realized that in my last post I mentioned peanutbuttercock and now I write this? Just….. lol… I have no words.
  Typical me. This blog writes itself.
  I PROMISE I’m not hiding some sick fetish or anything…

• How will you be celebrating Peanut Butter Lover’s Day tonight? (Because if you’re not I don’t wanna know)

I haven’t eaten PeaBee since last Tuesday (what the whaaa??) and so tonight I will either be spooning with it, putting down on a pickle or rocking PBJ Flat Out style like here..

or maybe on bread (gasp!).

Let me just be honest, probably all three with the way I’ve been at it of late. ◔_◔

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Atypical Tuesday – Food and Fashion

I’m still giggling over the hilarity of a title like that on my blog. Food and Fashion….heheheheee. Ridiculous. Love it.

Anyways —

I put on pants without elastic for the first time in a long time.

 

Work is picking up and I’m seeing clients so this is a sort-of forced situation but nonetheless significant.

Top = White House Black Market

Pants = Banana Republic

Shoes = Kenneth Cole

Wrinkles = Me and my chair

————————————————————————————

In other atypical news, the price of asparagus skyrocketed this past month.

If you don’t know – I’m an asparagus-a-holic.
My Native American name would be “Dances with Asparagus.”

For real. I’ve eaten it 363 days of the year for about 3-4 years now.

I’m not just talking about two or three stalks. I’m talking 10-12 oz daily.  That’s lowballing it. It’s an expensive dependency habit.

It was hard,  but I’ve had about 4 asparagus-free days over the past two weeks. I’m quite proud, as my asparagus love is a tiny bit disorderly.

Not that needing to eat choosing to eat the same food every day is a problem or anything. #peanutbutter

 

There seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Prices are slowly dropping and asparagus made a re-appearance on my plate.  I did not skimp on the portions either.

Shrimps.

Fashions.

LOL.

• Since work is picking up I’m thinking my blog posts might be short and sweet and maybe I will blog more often.

• If you have an eating disorder or struggle with food, please check out my girl Jess at HealthyPlace.com and join in the conversation— Her skills are so legit she getting paid for dropping her logic. Check it out!

• Be atypical in your commenting and share something you typically wouldn’t! (If you want).

 

 

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To Recap:

Christmas:

I spent it with my Mom…

  

(I make her laugh…..either that or she was drunk. I’ll never tell.)

And my Dad…

(We both look like grumpsters but it was more like we were drunksters. Or..buzzsters.)

   

And my Brother and Sister in Law…
(We don’t like to touch each other.)

And….my favorite peeps in the entire world……

I mean SHUT UP with how lucky I am.

New Years:

I made no resolution and instead chose to focus on just one word.

Speaking of Behavior…you see that gorgeous and amazing picture up there of me and my niece and nephews? 
Yeah about that.

I addressed the obvious brow FAIL I mentioned in my last post.
Better huh?
I actually LOVE how my face gets red because …well…I love how ridiculous it is. Cheap thrills y’all. 

And that is all I have to say about my brows AND my thighs (my brain can go ahead and do whatever it wants I don’t care). Next up…a Haircut.

To Recap My Life in General?

Peanut Butter….

And glitter……..

Make EVERYTHING BETTER.

Peanut Butter fills the cracks in the soul

Glitter reflects a little light when we feel anxious and afraid

(Peanut Butter also fills in the thighs and glitter eases your anxiety about THAT, amen? Actually Peanut Butter helps me deal with my thighs too. #emoeating).

• Give me a recap of your life in general in two words (I’ll love you if you steal mine).
• Any new years reso-s, focus or word?

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Show and Tell

Stuffs I See and Saw. Shown and Told.

Because.

Cheerwine.

Eat ALL the Ferments!!

Eat ALL the ugly foods! (0; (Asparagus, eggs, onions, disorderly amount of seasoning).

Don’t hate me because I’m Floridian.

One of my favorite vineyards. Smoothest Zin ever.

Digging up the (dusty) past.

Rollin’ with my homies. (Seriously. *winkwink*)

Sparkles, cake and my “afro puffs.”

High School Edu-ma-cation.

A doggie Thanksgiving.

Air-drying my hairs because I’ve been swimming again!

       

FYI Fellow swimmer friends: Paul Mitchell Shampoo Three. You need it.  

 

Books. 

Pickle and Peanut Butter “Pizza” on egg “crust.”

Ugly food. Ugly photography. What can I say?

Typical evening. Nashville. Vino.

Thighs.

Read this:

  Marianne Williamson “Illuminata.”

 There is a light that never goes out.

• See anything you like?
• Yes, I still have a big booty TV set. Santa please send Missy some HD love, kay?thanx.

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ommm….

Deep Breath. Inhale….and….exhale. Ahhhhh… Ommmmm…..shanti…शान्ति.

OMMM- On My Mind Monday – Where the breathing is deep, but the thoughts? Not so much.

Here’s what’s what.

Suffice it to say my peanut butter fast is no longer an issue.

Serious pickle and peabee domination went down on Saturday night. #rockingsociallife

I finally broke into that un-opened jar and proceeded to relieve it of over 1/2 it’s contents. A piece of my soul sinks every time I succumb to such peanut butter abuse. Nobody deserves to be taken advantage of like that. Thank goodness it’s such a forgiving friend. It’s all like … “I know, I know. I’m just THAT awesome you can’t help yourself. I’m used to it by now.”

What else…

Thanksgiving came and went …awesome day. Good times with the family. We definitely did not have enough food. Every year- same thing. Will we ever learn? (0;

 

That’s one of those faces you get when you are smiling FOR DAYS and your nephew can’t get the camera to work.

We got my nephew the Celebration roast and my mom baked it up. I tried a bite of the meaty stuff between the breading and the filling and it was delicious. Sausage-y almost.

As for myself I ate …oh probably a pound of shrimp.

 

 

 

My nephew also delivered some shocking news that night – he only told me. It has had me a tail-tizzy ever since and I’m losing sleep over it. I’m just concerned, worried…trying to help etc.

So —as for what’s really on my mind this Monday — it’s that. I can’t help it. It’s very troublesome and I’m giving it up to God … like 80,000 times a day. (0:

That may also explain the 3/4 jar of peanut butter affair.

But actually? That’s just me. (0:

 

• How was your thanksgiving? Try anything new?
• Ever been obsessing over a loved one’s difficulties when you need to be focused on your own?

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~News~

It’s healthy to try new things, treat yourself a little, and switch things up to make life a little more…more.

Let me tell you my “news.”

I bought a new microwave Sunday. I go through microwaves like athletes go through running shoes. This one has a five year over-the-top warrantee to defend against my Midas touch of doom.

Microwaves are healthy. Because.

I finally broke down and started buying the big-boy jars of peanut butter.
Good for my economic health and the health of my soul.

I started taking some new health supplements. (It’s too soon to tell a difference.)

I bought some new clothes to accommodate my healthy body and give me that boost of “feel-good” we get when we look nice.

 

Our busy season is coming up and my current uniform of flowy tops and stretchy pants won’t do in the office with clients.

 

Self care, personal hygiene, taking the time to care for our appearance – Healthy!

I tried a new make-up. Love it. It’s super light, like a tint. I’ve always been a tinted moisturizer gal (if anything at all) even before the new BB creams. I can’t wait to try an actual BB though. 

 

Some new sparkle — feels like looking life straight in the eye and saying “I LOVE YOU!” 

I recently tried Raw Coconut Aminos instead of my beloved Braggs. (Sorry for the pic. Ow! My eyes!)

I’ve grown weary of vegetable protein so it’s nice to cut back a little and switch it up. The Coconut Aminos tastes great and have less sodium.

 

Another new – frozen vegetables. These Asian inspired mixes are great because I rarely have veggies like baby corn or water chestnuts in the house and this is waiting whenever the “Asian” mood strikes. (Is that PC? lol).

I’ll never be an “all frozen- all the time” girl but on occasion, why not? They’re just as healthy.

New Vitamin water flavor – it’s got caffeine (!) and lots of other weird things that probably aren’t healthy but the vitamins balance it out *wink*. I really just don’t care that much. lol :9

I tried a new salad dressing. It’s …meh. I’ve been trying to do the dressing thing more to see what I am missing.  Really? I just prefer a simple extra-light tasting olive oil spritz — but variety is healthy as are fats – especially on greens.

 

I have another new dressing waiting for me to experiment with and let me tell you about ….wait for it….THESE NUTS (heehee).

   

Yeah – I hate to love these almonds (#crack#ingredients) but whatever.

Everything in moderation – INCLUDING MODERATION. <—Write that down.

 

Last month I found out Publix (my grocery store) will steam your seafood for free. I cannot express my pure unadulterated joy. It’s my new favorite “I’m tired” treat for dinner after work. Or..on Saturday. LOL.

It’s important to have go-to meal options that are healthy, easy and fast. Better than the drive-thrus and deliveries or skipping a meal.

 

You can get it seasoned, but when it comes to Cod I don’t mess around. All I need is the …drool….flaky buttery tasting flesh. #sorryvegheads

  

On one Atypical Tuesday I decided to switch things up by eating salmon. Salmon’s not really my favorite.

It’s delicious- but I’d never choose it first. I have to remind myself to get it every once in a while because of all the healthy fats. 

And finally, new albums I’ve picked up. Music is the wallpaper of the mind. Good for the mind and soul, and when you shake that azz it’s good for the body.

 

• What’s new with you?

Today’s Prompt for NHBPM  was “News-Style Post” (??) and the other option was “A time you had to take the high road” (no thanks). So…this is what came out.  Previous posts can be found here.

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ommm….

Deep Breath. Inhale….and….exhale. Ahhhhh… Ommmmm…..shanti…शान्ति.

I’m now entering the realm of OMMM- On My Mind Monday – Where the breathing is deep, but the thoughts? Not so much. Here are some random thinks I’ve thunk this past week. Welcome to my inner sanctum of silly.

silly > sad.

I weigh and measure 99% of my food. I also have a love affair with peanut butter – which I prefer to consume in increments of 1/2 Tablespoon.

Peanut Butter. Me. Obviously, I use the pants off my 1/2 Tablepoon. Like everyday. Naturally, I lose them, break them, garbage disposalize them, and *blush* mindlessly throw them away at 3am in kitchen lit only by the light of the refrigerator door.

 

So my problem: I have like 15 sets of spoons and one 1/2 Tablespoon. That’s a lot of drawer space. And ca$h money. Every time I lose one I have to replace the entire set.  For some reason it is SO difficult for me to find a set of measuring spoons with the 1/2 T measurement. I always have to go to like two stores at least. I don’t know why. Can they not make ALL sets have the 1/2 T? So rude. Also why can’t they sell individual spoons. They probably do. At the spoon store.

Whatever. I have a difficult life.

I need a vacation.

All this picture needs is unicorns. And peanut butter.

If you really REALLY for-real-deal wanna know what’s been on my mind…I will share with you the email reply I got from a friend yesterday. It made my day.

Fat =

Fabulous Attitude Train

Fancy Acrobatic Toad (I know, I remember.)

Fluffy Ass Toot

Flaming Apple Tort

Finely Attuned Theorist

Flickering Asteroid Trail

Frilly Alpaca Tail

Friends Always Tell

[I didn't mean for the last three to rhyme, but they did. Now it's your turn. GO! Get your F.A.T. on!]

But that’s all I’m gonna say about that.  No sense indulging insanity. If I can avoid it…..because I may be a little insane.

Exhibit 8,954,326:

What in the actual what.

I HAD to snap a photo when I found myself going for my afternoon walk in this get up. Don’t even ask. There is hardly any reason or excuse.

I’m having issues with my feets and hence the compression socks…other than that? I got nothing. So, yeah. This is me. Just a free crazy lady spirit OR…THAT weirdo freak in the neighborhood. You decide.

I will tell you I walked around like that…and yet it is REALLY bothering me that I am showing you my dusty mirror and  sloppy PJ pile down there on the right. I make sense.

This post is getting too long.

• What is your favorite F.A.T acronym  (from above)?

 

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I’m a Food Superhero (um..kind-a-sort-a)

Guess what? I’m a Food Superhero!
Or…maybe I’m not a Food Superhero (because of the whole E.D thing)

BUT I play one on the interwebs.

   

Superhero Name: Peanut Butter Pickle Princess

Human Name: Missy
Food Superpower: Snap! I see right through food labels.
Food Kryptonite: Sugar

Weapons of Choice:

 

Oh, SNAP!

After all – I meet the criteria (criterion?).

   

I got an email from FoodCorps saying that Stonyfield will donate $1 to them if I simply gave my super Peanut Butter Pickle Prowess some street cred and went public.

Didn’t have to ask me twice. I loveLoVeLOVE FoodCorps.

It’s, in a way, a dream job. I would apply (really!) however they don’t have a location in Florida yet and I can’t do cold <—and yes, it’s that bad. (Also, I should look healthy if I’m-a preach healthy and people keep telling me I don’t so I must accept that).

Their Vision:

We envision a nation of well-nourished children: children who know what healthy food is, how it grows and where it comes from, and who have access to it every day. These children, having grown up in a healthy food environment, will learn better, live longer, and liberate their generation from diet-related disease.

 

If your jealous – and I know you’re jealous — click here and do something right for the world (if you want).

And while you’re at it join my crusade!
You can come willingly..

Or be taken by force. 

You’re choice. But PLEASE – If you join the Peabee and Pickle Party

——->DO IT RIGHT!!!<—-

 

Half Sours people. Half. Sours.

• I’m curious, do you meet the Food Superhero criterion?

  I am like the dirtiest produce eater EVER<—Ev.Er.
  but I gave myself a check for at least knowing what the EWC list is and being aware of the dirty dozen. I also don’t buy organic usually but I KNOW about it. So be liberal and give yourself credit!

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If You Can’t Eat It…

My father is a wise man.  His colorful aphorisms have peppered my life.

Of his many tropes, my favorite is about acquisition:

If you can’t eat it,

and it doesn’t make you money…

what good is it?

I recognize there are many things wrong with this statement. Clearly- this is not the logic to use when considering things like having a child or adopting a pet.

 

My father would buy me as many books as I wanted. He sent me to camp each summer and encouraged me in extra-curricular activities. He knows the importance of enjoying life’s pleasures.  In fact, he is cruising the British Isles as I write this.

This is not the logic to employ when navigating life’s more philosophical pursuits.

No- This is the type of logic one needs to pack when navigating the aisles of Target.

When you head to Target for two things:

It is quite easy – dare I say unavoidable – to be distracted by items you do not need. Items you never knew you wanted until you saw them.

They are “out of sight, out of mind” items. You easily fall for them upon first sight – and they are quickly forgotten when you walk away. Unless they wind up in your shopping cart.

It’s during these pivotal moments when I hear my father’s voice. 

“If you can’t eat it and it doesn’t make you money, what good is it?”

I’m often able to walk away.

Did I leave Target with just two things? Ah, hail naw. I’m female human.

I picked up a new bathing suit (my pool eats a bathing suit every two weeks), a travel tumbler (saves money in the long run) and some nude eye shadow (why do I even bother?). All practical items.

Then, you know, I saw these. They don’t make you money.

But you can eat them.

You can eat them together!

Lightly steam your carrots, sprinkle with gomasio and make this nutty dip:

Far-East Nutty Dip Baby Dip

• 3 T nut butter (I used the almond, peanut & cashew blend from Target)
• 2 T Bragg’s Aminos  or soy Sauce
• 2-3 T water for desired consistency.
• Cayenne, Garlic Powder and Sweetener to taste.

Nuke it and stir until smooth, it thickens as it cools.

 

Totally Money.

Dip Baby Dip!!!

Oh, and about that sparkling coconut La Croix.

Not for everyone, but I like it. Tastes like the smell of suntan lotion.

Curious? If you put it on your Target list now, you won’t feel so bad when it winds up in your cart later.

 

• What was your last Target acquisition? If you don’t have a target by you I don’t know whether to pity you or envy you…
• Do you like to steam or blanch your veggies for crudite? I always do.
• Did/does your Dad have any sayings?

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TGYWT- Cruising Edition

Thank Goodness Yesterday Was Thursday

Or, TGYWT! <—with necessary exclamation point.

Yup. It’s that time again.

It’s Friday.

And you know what? I feel pretty shnazzy.

Allow me to share my good mood, kind-of like in the movie “Friday”

“I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this; but I’m gonna get you high today, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got sh*t to do.”

Except without the contraband.

Come cruise with me in my mini-van (if you want). Enjoy!

If you’re ever in South Florida I will fo-sure take you for a ride, but I’d make you eat a pickle and peabee with me first.

I’d be nice about it.

      

But if you resisted, I’d get tough.

Thanks so much for your all comments on my last post!

Remarkably, I feel a bit better. There is something to be said for reaching out so special thanks to

these three ladies

I’ve never reached out like that before and I am so amazed at how much it really helps.

• Do you sing in your car?

Of course, you know I do. All the time. I have never videoed it before, though.

• Are you barbequing this weekend?

I haven’t had any invites but you never know. I’m certainly gonna get my fair share of sunshine.

**I think my blog might have graduated to “mature” – the drug reference, curse words, and of course my bra.**

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