WTF Wednesday

Life hands us stuff: lemons, blessings, unfortunately located piles of dog poo, rainbows….etc. Not all of it is tasteful, but our job is to make do.

That means thinking WTF and moving on.

WTF as in: WHATEVER. TOTALLY FINE.

So….WTF…..

Hairline fracture to the rib. From leaning over an armrest to grab a pen that had rolled off my desk.

Whatever. Totally Fine.

I’m a champion.

This, my friends, is a product of fine-honed Vitamin D deficiency and malnourishment. WTF. Totally Fine.

No… really. It’s not fine. It’s not funny. It’s LAME and SICK and frankly…it pisses me off. (Yes. Pisses.)

So…in a way? Yeah. Whatever. TOTALLY FINE. Because you know what? I’m DONE with this shiz. Done.

It’s clicking. Miraculously by the Grace of God…  I am getting healthy and I am no longer scared. Fear is fake, anyway.

Meanwhile….don’t worry about me. I’m sure I’ll be okay. I’ve got so much to be grateful for – to look forward to.

Oh and….

 

• I miss blogging because I miss …YOU. (Yes, you.) So fill me in…what are you WTFing about.
• Also, please say hi if you never comment. Please? I’m-a play the sick card.

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Saturday I’m in Love

I’ll let The Cure have Fridays.

It’s Saturday and lately I’ve been loving:

Walking around like a soccer player.

Carb-a-licious Munchies.

This album:

(That round thing? It’s called a compact disc, kids.)

A well-stocked Kimchi supply.

 

This Series:

 

My massage chair.

It’s heated, too.

I’m enjoying it as I blog this nonsense, which I’m doing as part of Operation De-Stagnation. (It’s kind-of hard to type.)

I’m feeling better already.

  

Want some crackers with that cheese?

I’m all about cheap thrills and giggles. Keeps me sane less insane.

What have you been loving lately?

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Weird Assi Breakfast

Oh, hello there!

*taptap* Is this thing on?? *ahem*

Hello again, my sunshines.

Guess what I got here…

   

If you guessed Nori and Kimchi, you are technically correct but the answer I was looking for is:

Breakfast of Champi-Yums

Yeah, Breakfast. Yeah, be afraid. Go ahead. My brother was.

He started coughing and gagging from the other room. I said, “I can’t believe you can smell it from in there.” To which he replied, “Smell it? It about knocked me over.”

And this my friends, was before I even opened the bags.

Bags. Plural. Yes. #whyimstillsingle

(For more on Kimchi read this)

My point it – wait, I don’t have one. But I do want to share the giggle I had while reading the Nori package.

(You know, to count up all the 0 calories that are in nori. Sigh.)

You better believe I had to read this twice.

Because the first time? I totally thought they went there.

But enough about me.

I miss hearing from you guys and dolls.

Eaten anything unusual or freaky lately? Wanna tell me a story? Ask me a question? *taptap* Is this thing on??

PS- No, I will not be taking Kimchi to the office anymore. I do, after all, have a heart.

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Thinks You Should Know Thursday

I’ve been thinking and guess what? 

There are some thinks I think you should know.

Because.

#1

Fozzie has Kentucky Fried Fur.

 

#2

The dots on lowercase letters are tittles, which I think is a cute word. It reminds me of skittles. Were you thinking something more …titillating?

Then you’re a dirty birdy. Tsk-Tsk.

 

#3

My Kimchi is beautiful.

#4

You should try putting salt in your chocolate milk. (If you want). It’s magically delicious.

#5

Someone needs to hurry up and market an umbrella that folds upwards already. Seriously.

I just thought you should know.

Because. That’s why.

• Learn anything new today?
• What do you think I should know?

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Maruchi Kimchi (Vegan, Gluten Free<–I’m hilarious)

My friend David (if you don’t know him click here) gave me a Korean name last year– Maruchi.

(Sounds like Ma-roo-chee).

I love it. He recently told me it means “spastic little fish.” Which is way too appropriate.

 

Check out this photograph he gave me – it’s me in fish form!

Anyways.

David turned me into a kimchi addict. (It all started here).

What is kimchi? It’s a traditional Korean dish of fermented vegetables. Fermented food does a body good. 

He ignited my kimchi spark, then taught me to fuel my own fire. He gave me photographs of how he makes kimchi (and he makes THE BEST kimchi) and many lectures about the details.

I’ve been practicing. I am pleased to present you with:

Maruchi Kimchi

First things first.  Get all your friends together:

 

• Napa Cabbage
• Korean Radish (or the longer Japanese Daikon)
• Scallion
• Garlic
• Kosher Salt (not iodized or sea salt)
• Korean Red Pepper*
• Glass Jars

* This is hard to find. David says never use crushed red pepper flakes. The first time I made Kimchi, I used cayenne which came out fine. This time David gave me some of his Korean Red Pepper. (I might have to invest, it comes in huge bags that cost $15 a pop. Kind of daunting for a single gal).

Look at the glittery little crystals. Korean pepper flakes are like none I’ve ever seen.  

Random aside: David gave the pepper to me in a mango jam jar. Who knew of such a thing?

Back to business. Halve your cabbage.

(Does that sound weird?)

 

Then halve each half.   

Cut the cores…

Give them a bath

Cut the peeled daikon and cabbage into bite size pieces.

Then place them in a large bowl (make sure it’s a large bowl) alternating layers of veggies and salt.

Based on my research and advice from David I used 1 cup of salt for a 5 lb cabbage and two large radishes.

General rule of thumb is 1/4 cup salt per lb of cabbage.

Then you let it hang out for a few hours…

Tossing occasionally

The vegetables will reduce in size drastically and release a lot of water. See it all?

Drain your veggies and give them a quick rinse.

Chop the garlic and scallions.

 

I used about 15 green onions and the equivalent of maybe three heads of garlic. (I’m not scared)

Add them to the mix with the pepper flake.

And mix it all up.

I know, I know. You’re drooling all over your keyboard huh?

No cupcakes, oatmeal or vegan dough-balls here at Beautiful Struggle. I bring you fermented cabbage and pickles and peanut butter – my own green monsters.

*David told me many Koreans have a separate fridge devoted for kimchi. Now I understand why.

Grab some glass jars (not plastic) and let your Kimchi “ripen” outside the refrigerator for at least 24 hours. You know you’ve got fermentation action when you see the tiny bubbles.

Then stick it in the fridge…the longer you wait the “riper” it will get. When I say “ripe” I’m alluding to a distinct trademark smell the Kimchi releases. Pungent, briny, garlicky..well…you just have to smell it.

Some say “yum” and some say “run!”

I say “freaky, stinky food is FUN!”

Hey, It could be worse. Most kimchi is made with fish sauce and some with salted shrimp and other seafood. I draw the line at fermented fish.

• What’s your Kimchi verdict? Be honest. Just be sure to add the “but I love you anyways” after.

• David’s reading this….you can say “Hi” if you want.

 

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Special Delivery: Authentic Korean Take-Out

I’ve written before about my friend David here and here.

He’s awesome-sauce. (I know some magical people.)

He finally delivered on his promise to bring me his signature Kimchi:

Delicious! Briny, tart, spicy yet mellow. Don’t buy store-bought. It’s not even comparable to the real thing.

He gave me specific instructions to eat it with rice and nori.  (David wants me to eat more rice). I said I would. I didn’t.

I don’t eat grains often… it’s complicated. I don’t believe grains are necessarily vital for the human body.* They taste good though! 

*That’s just me, I know it’s a controversial statement. I hope no one cares what I think.

Next time I saw him he asked

“How do you like the Kimchi?”

“I LOVED it”  I said – meaning it was GONE. In two days.

“Did you eat it with the rice?”

“Um…no…”

I guess he decided to take matters in his own hands.
On Monday he showed up with this:

What’s that you ask?

David surprised me with my own personal Korean lunch kit!

Hand-delivered straight to my office.

 
That’s Kimchi in the butter container.

(Half gone by the time I clicked the pic)

Don’t be scared.

You know what these are <—

Please know what those are. Yum.

In the red container? David’s rice with beans.

How sweet is that? Again, he’s awesome-sauce.

By lunch time I was ready. Let’s do this.

You take the toasted nori, add some rice and kimchi and….
YUM. Double yum.

For dessert I had a slight breakdown a teachable moment.

I don’t share much of my insanity. In honor of NEDA week (I’m ALWAYS LATE) I thought, why not?

Skip this part if you want. 

As I was finishing lunch I noticed my hands starting to shake. Why? Because I know David makes his rice with 1/3  brown long grain, 1/3 brown sticky and 1/3….white rice.

I take issue with white rice, but I wanted to eat the food he so lovingly prepared for me. So I did. Ten minutes later I FELT emotional and nervous. I was near tears. It was a physical feeling more than emotional or mental…I was detached from the anxiety but it gripped me nonetheless.

Can you see it in my eyes?

All I could think was “WHITE RICE WHITE RICE.”

Meanwhile people are starving,dying, suffering, fighting wars.

I was frustrated and mad at myself for being so wack. This weirdity hasn’t happened to me in a long time.

I’ve learned to separate myself from the insanity. It doesn’t make it go away.

I keep this card on my desk. Yesterday it struck a deep chord. Feelings and thoughts are just feelings and thoughts. They don’t make or break us.

I kept calm and carried on.

I eventually realized what was plaguing me – the loss of control. I never realized how dependent I am on controlling what I eat. I gave up controlling how much I eat — but I have to control what I eat.

Controlling your diet is healthy…but not when taken to the extreme.

I don’t believe I have to eat anything I don’t want to eat in order to recover. I’ll probably never eat white rice again (unless David brings me more). But it‘s important for me to be able to eat outside the lines without it causing anxiety and tears. IT’S JUST RICE!

RICE!

It was a teachable moment.

I got over it myself….

Because how magically awesome is David? You gotta smile.

• Ever try Kimchi?
• What are your thoughts on “controlling food.”

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