Special Delivery: Authentic Korean Take-Out

I’ve written before about my friend David here and here.

He’s awesome-sauce. (I know some magical people.)

He finally delivered on his promise to bring me his signature Kimchi:

Delicious! Briny, tart, spicy yet mellow. Don’t buy store-bought. It’s not even comparable to the real thing.

He gave me specific instructions to eat it with rice and nori.  (David wants me to eat more rice). I said I would. I didn’t.

I don’t eat grains often… it’s complicated. I don’t believe grains are necessarily vital for the human body.* They taste good though! 

*That’s just me, I know it’s a controversial statement. I hope no one cares what I think.

Next time I saw him he asked

“How do you like the Kimchi?”

“I LOVED it”  I said – meaning it was GONE. In two days.

“Did you eat it with the rice?”

“Um…no…”

I guess he decided to take matters in his own hands.
On Monday he showed up with this:

What’s that you ask?

David surprised me with my own personal Korean lunch kit!

Hand-delivered straight to my office.

 
That’s Kimchi in the butter container.

(Half gone by the time I clicked the pic)

Don’t be scared.

You know what these are <—

Please know what those are. Yum.

In the red container? David’s rice with beans.

How sweet is that? Again, he’s awesome-sauce.

By lunch time I was ready. Let’s do this.

You take the toasted nori, add some rice and kimchi and….
YUM. Double yum.

For dessert I had a slight breakdown a teachable moment.

I don’t share much of my insanity. In honor of NEDA week (I’m ALWAYS LATE) I thought, why not?

Skip this part if you want. 

As I was finishing lunch I noticed my hands starting to shake. Why? Because I know David makes his rice with 1/3  brown long grain, 1/3 brown sticky and 1/3….white rice.

I take issue with white rice, but I wanted to eat the food he so lovingly prepared for me. So I did. Ten minutes later I FELT emotional and nervous. I was near tears. It was a physical feeling more than emotional or mental…I was detached from the anxiety but it gripped me nonetheless.

Can you see it in my eyes?

All I could think was “WHITE RICE WHITE RICE.”

Meanwhile people are starving,dying, suffering, fighting wars.

I was frustrated and mad at myself for being so wack. This weirdity hasn’t happened to me in a long time.

I’ve learned to separate myself from the insanity. It doesn’t make it go away.

I keep this card on my desk. Yesterday it struck a deep chord. Feelings and thoughts are just feelings and thoughts. They don’t make or break us.

I kept calm and carried on.

I eventually realized what was plaguing me – the loss of control. I never realized how dependent I am on controlling what I eat. I gave up controlling how much I eat — but I have to control what I eat.

Controlling your diet is healthy…but not when taken to the extreme.

I don’t believe I have to eat anything I don’t want to eat in order to recover. I’ll probably never eat white rice again (unless David brings me more). But it‘s important for me to be able to eat outside the lines without it causing anxiety and tears. IT’S JUST RICE!

RICE!

It was a teachable moment.

I got over it myself….

Because how magically awesome is David? You gotta smile.

• Ever try Kimchi?
• What are your thoughts on “controlling food.”

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The Wisdom to Know the Difference

I’m not going to write about all the reasons I am so thankful this holiday season because…………………

……………..Oh. Excuse me. I fell asleep just thinking about writing that.

Honestly, I’m feeling a lot more “Boo Hoo” than “Boo Yeah” about Thanksgiving.

  Two word: Family Drama. My heart hurts. 

I’m not going to write about that either. I am beyond words, and the situation is beyond my control.

  Which explains my palpable urge to (cliché in 3,2,1) Control the one thing I Can Control. (I warned you).

 

That’s not an option for me in recovery.

So I decided to reflect on the many things in life I can and cannot control BESIDES eating, food & weight.

#1

I have no control over how I’m greeted upon arriving at work. 

I do have control over my reaction.

“What. Ever. Passive Aggressive Notes. Pshhh. Over it.”

Then I can resolve to be timely because, let’s face it, the dog does not eat my alarm clock. 

#2

I have complete control over my computer screen savers.

(Need a screen saver…go here<——and thank me later.)

I have control over my words, and how I choose to treat people.

#3

I have no control over my Food Baby. 

I can, however post about it on the internet in a ridiculous manner <———

 

(I know, I know, no one can see it but me.)

 

 

 

I can decide to develop a love affair with it  (<—-read this!)

 

And post that on the internet, too.

I can’t help being weirded out, freaked out, and doubting my sanity while taking pictures of myself and food baby in the mirror. But that’s healthy.

 

Because…really?

 

 

 

 

 

#4

I can’t control the sunshine.

But I  can catch a bit of it….

…and hold it in my hand…

…and savor it while sitting in traffic.

Which I cannot control.

#5

I can’t control the temperature of the pool.

Brrrr! I’m never eager to jump in.

 

I can control my mindset by thinking,

“Seriously? If this is the hardest thing you do today or worry about,  you are one blessed individual.”

*This works in many trials, by the way. Steal it. Use it often.

Then I jump right in.

(That was me, by the way)

#6

I don’t control the motions of a candle’s flame. I like that!

I love that so much I light them every night.

 

In memory.

#7

I can’t control the weather.

But I never doubt that the sun will come out again, or think it will rain forever unless I do something about it. Witness 20 minutes in South FL this morning:

 

#8

I cannot control my dog, Zoe. (Seriously. Call the dog whisperer)

Exhibit A: 3D sculptures of chewed up carpeting i found yesterday. “Look what I made for you, Mommy!”

Exhibit B: Click Here <——

But I still love her most of the time.

 

(But, Zoe? Maybe something I can hang on the fridge would be nice. )

#9

I am completely in charge of my magnet collection.

I can even make my own magnets —–>Like These<—–

#9

I control how I choose to ADORN my body.

Hence sparkly nail polish…

…Symbolic rings…

 

…temporary butterfly tattoos…

…commemorative anklets and bracelets…

…and shoelaces. (yay!)

I control how I FEED my mind

by what I read:

(currently reading these…)

  

what I listen to:

(my ‘cheer-missy-up’ playlist)

 

Though I have difficulty deciding.

Can I get a witness? 10,003 items in my iTunes. Almost 30 days worth.

I control what I watch on the tee-vee…

…and always make responsible choices most of the time.

#10

I can control the time I spend nurturing my relationship with God, and growing in my walk of Faith.

 

 

 

#11

I can’t control the wind, but I can

learn a lot from a kite <—–

#12

I can’t Control the sunset

And I don’t want to.

I’ll never be the artist that God is.

He’s got it under control.

Hmmm….

Let Go. Let God.

I feel better already.

 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

• Anybody else facing their control issues lately?
• Do the Holidays inspire a lot of “need to control” moments?

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