WTF Wednesday – Cold Rock Lobster

Life hands us stuff: lemons, blessings, unfortunately located piles of dog poo, rainbows….etc. Not all of it is tasteful, but our job is to make do.

Accept and move on.

Sometimes that requires adopting a “WTF” mentality.

WTF as in: WHATEVER. TOTALLY FINE.

Here’s some stuff I’ve been “Totally Fine” with lately.

What’s wrong with this picture?

 

Can you find the things that do not belong?

Socks. Shoes. Pants. Sleeves. Sweater. Layers.

(No visible bra strap.)

Freaking Layers. Really?

 

I hate (HATE!) cold weather. I was considering a lounge by the pool last weekend and now this:

Whatever. It’s Totally Fine. I live in Florida and this is as bad as it will get. I seriously don’t understand how “you people” do it. #Floridagirl4ever

 

On New Years Eve my Mom treated me to a lobsters dinner.

That wasn’t a typo. I meant lobsters. Plural.

I ate two (2!) entire Maine lobsters. Whatever. Totally Fine. Happens everyday. Normal.

The rest of my family ate Chicken Parm while I tackled $40 worth of seafood. I’m spoiled.  Totally Fine.

My nephew was fascinated by the entire lobster “event.”

“That’s disgusting Aunt Missy”

 

No worries, he’s like “WTF, I love her anyway.” 

 

Wrinkles. Totally Fine. I think there’s like a cream for that or something. In my medicine cabinet. Getting dusty.

At least I don’t have age spots.

Those are blood blisters. Whatever. Totally fine. I got pinched in my beach chair…they’ll just remind me of how lucky I am to be a Florida girl despite this gruesome cold snap.

• What are you WTF-ing lately?
• I’m getting that weird thing that happens when you say a word too many times…”layers, layers, layers…”

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Thinks You Should Know Thursday

I’ve been thinking (again) and guess what?

There are some thinks I think you should know.

Because.

#1

Pictures can be REALLY misleading.

Rest assured. No animals were harmed during the snapping of this photo.

(Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful).

#2

Strawberry “pores” give me gooseshivers.

   

Pores, in general, give me the willwonks. (Don’t get me started on…spores *shiver*).  Happily, I can still eat them despite this.  But when I really look….I trip out.

#3

Someone needs to invent a word that rhymes with Orange already.

I’ve spent inordinate amounts of time pondering the possibilities (I’m weird like that) and the best I can come up with is:

Borange – Something that is boring. i.e., “That is a borange book.”

See the problem with that? Why not just say the book is boring?

This causes me a great deal of frustration, this lack of orange rhyming business.

#4

The drummer from Def Leppard’s only got one arm

I knew this even before that old Bloodhound Gang song. And if you didn’t know this, you do now.

Thank me later.

#5

These Holiday cookies are cute and seem easy to make.

If you bake, that is.

 

I don’t bake.

But I thought you should know.

Because. That’s why.

 

PS -  Visiting my Pinterest Board of adorabilty will instantly dissolve the barrage of ugly images I have just thrown at you. (Sorry for that!)

• Learn anything new today?
• What do you think I should know?

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TGYWT

Thank Goodness Yesterday Was Thursday.

Or, TGYWT! <—with necessary exclamation point.

When life hands you letters, gather your thoughts and make a list of randomness I say!

Throwback Read

I loved the Sweet Valley Twins back in elementary school, so I couldn’t resist this follow-up. I giggled as I pulled it off the library shelf. It’s not a life-changing Pulitzer, but it’s a great way to relax the brain waves and catch up with Elizabeth, Jessica, Lila Fowler, Bruce Pattman, etc. You won’t believe what’s up with Steven Wakefield.

Guar Gum

I’ve been using guar gum in my smoothies and it really helps them develop from icy to…smoothie. The gum adds a creamy consistency that I appreciate. I worried it would upset my tummy but I’m fine. This is a poor-girl frapp.

Yes, please.

Click the picture for more info

I’m all for Subway expanding their menu to include more vegan and gluten free options. Tofurkey Wrap? Gardein Chicken Salad? Sounds food to me. <—I meant to type “good” but I’m keeping it because…

Weird Dream

Last night I had a super-involved, crazy-train dream in which I received a message. This never happens. It was given to me in a sort of fairy-tongue riddle:

Work hard to love yourself for the benefit of your own company.

Basically, it’s a play on “working for a company” and “enjoying your own company.” I guess I need to work at loving myself because I have to hang out with me for the rest of my life.

Fun times. Start Early.

Yes, that’s me.

 

Tired

         

I’m looking a little haggard. <–understatement. My sleep schedule is so chaotic and if I don’t remedy this situation soon I will probably lose my mind (if you can you lose something you’ve already lost).

Thank Goodness yesterday was Thursday, because I’ve got my “work” cut out for me this weekend.

Work hard to love yourself for the benefit of your own company.

Seriously. What the what?

I can’t make this stuff up.

• Your turn. Give me a random T,G,Y,W or T. (If you want).

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So I Won’t

I don’t feel like blogging.

So I won’t.

…..wait…..

I just did.

 

Blogging.

I wish I knew how to quit you!

 

I’ll write more when the spirit moves me. Blogging hasn’t been on God’s agenda for me lately. There is so much CHANGE stirring in my heart and soul, it’s a wonder I recognize myself in the mirror.

Suffice it to say – I’m speechless. Wordless. Blogless. (For now).

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OMMM….

I’d like you to relax…..take a deep breath and get ready for another round of

OMMM- On My Mind Monday.

Where the breathing is deep, but the thoughts? Not so much.

Here are some random thinks I’ve thunk this past week.

In no particular order. For no particular reason. Because.

I re-watched Juno last week and I’ve had “this song” in my head ever since. Total earworm.

The term “earworm” makes me squirm, by the way.

Speaking of movies on television – the movie Knocked Up is FOREVER on the E! Network. They’ve shown it about 8,695 times. What’s up with that? Too much of a good thing is a real thing.

Not to mislead you. I actually don’t spend much time watching television. I average 25-28 hours a week at most, usually while multi-tasking. Sounds like a lot, but the average American watches about 35 hours a week (source).

I’m better than that. I waste my time on the internet…like a true sophisticant.

I joined pinterest recently, and am wondering when the novelty will wear off. Hopefully soon. Or I may need a 12-Step.

I’m beginning to hear the audible sound of time being sucked away (even as I type this) – making my guilty pleasure a little heavy on the guilt side. 

In fact, I’m gonna bail out now and do something more productive. You know, so I can have something better to blog about. (I’m Kidding.)

PS: Is it moral of me to waste your time by writing this malarkey?

• Do you have a Pinterest Account?
• What was the last “earworm” you’ve had.
• What’s been on your mind – nothing profound please you’ll give me a complex.

 

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Thinks You Should Know Thursday

I’ve been thinking and guess what? 

There are some thinks I think you should know.

Because.

#1

Fozzie has Kentucky Fried Fur.

 

#2

The dots on lowercase letters are tittles, which I think is a cute word. It reminds me of skittles. Were you thinking something more …titillating?

Then you’re a dirty birdy. Tsk-Tsk.

 

#3

My Kimchi is beautiful.

#4

You should try putting salt in your chocolate milk. (If you want). It’s magically delicious.

#5

Someone needs to hurry up and market an umbrella that folds upwards already. Seriously.

I just thought you should know.

Because. That’s why.

• Learn anything new today?
• What do you think I should know?

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What I’m ____________ Wednesdays

There’s a WIAW party going on around the blogosphere. For non-blog addicts (i.e. more-normal people) WIAW, or “What I Ate Wednesday” is when a slew of bloggers take the time to show-and-tell us….wait for it…what they ate! On Wednesday!

The reasons I don’t partake in this activity are many and multifold. There are a few bloggers doing WIAW with originality and flair like Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen, but I could never match her genius.

Serena’s spin on things seems like a fun thing to do.

So here goes nothing. <—Literally!

But WTF – Whatever. It’s Totally Fine

What I’m Sipping On:

The caffeine content in Diet Sun Drop blows Mt. Dew out of the water.

This is also what I’m Getting High On and what I’m Not Feeling Guilty About today. 

 

What I’m Faking:

This salad was designed to taste like a Subway Sub. Romaine lettuce (I was out of shredded iceberg), banana peppers, pickles, onions, tomato, red wine vinegar, Italian seasoning, yellow mustard, S&P. I added black olives after I took the picture.

Eat. Fresh.

What I’m Listening To:

What I’m Wearing:

Black Dress by Gap, necklace by Joy, shoes, come-hither glance off camera. I’m also wearing yoga shorts under my dress, because.

 

What I’m Wanting:

I’ve always wanted to be a mailman..erm…postal worker. They get to  walk around outside and be friendly to people. They can wear shorts and knee-highs to work and their uniforms are pretty spiff.

PLUS….PLUS….They get to drive on the right-hand side of the car WITH the door open.

 

What I’m Weird Enough to Do:

My father always said, “It never hurts to ask. The worse that can happen is they say No.” My daddy is a wise man. I have NO shame asking for what I want.

Even if it’s “Can I pose with your truck? Can I get in? Will you take my picture while I’m doing it? Can I take your picture? And post it on the internet? In a ridiculous fashion?”

  

This post (<—Hah!) was bought to you by:

Who I’m Freaking Out this Wednesday. (Besides you guys).

Peace Out Mr. Postman!

• What’s your blank today?

The FedEx guy came in and sees this post in my Live Writer and he said “You should have a FedEx guy” and I said “Will you let me ride in your truck?” and he said “Yes! Come On.”

See? You never know unless you ask!

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WTF Wednesday

It’s Wednesday again. A day to acknowledge that sometimes you have to think WTF.

As in: WHATEVER. It’s TOTALLY FINE.

Life is Crazy. I’m Crazy. Whatever. Totally Fine.

You with me?

I’m writing more regularly (every other day) as an experiment. I’m curious what would happen if I just let loose and wrote about…whatever! Here goes nothing. <—Literally

During an insomnia-fueled viewing of The Tonight Show last night, I decided to look pretty more often. Was this inspired by watching Blake Lively? A little. 

But mostly I was wondering if I could attract a man like Blake Shelton.

Le Purrrrrrr. I want to curl up in his dimples and sleep for a very long time.

Would I have to pretend to like his music? Probably. Worth it.

I also decided I should work on my abs after Leno showed this picture:

I wonder if I could get ripped? I’ve never tried. Might be fun.

I decided to do sit-ups every morning.

I thought all this whilst shoving salty, greasy carbs in my mouth and lying in bed. Whatever! Totally Fine. Right?

So this morning I grabbed something a little different from my closet. I tried to get my pretty on.

Look! There’s Zoe!

I was too busy brushing the crumbs and nutreast* from my sheets that I didn’t have time for sit-ups. I did have time to get my neighbor to snap a picture. Is that normal? NO.

Whatever! It’s totally fine.

Actually – I’ll be honest. I forgot I had “the abs-thought” until now. I’m over it. Oh, the thinks you can think at 12am. Silly.

I also forgot to shave my legs. Fail. Not pretty. 

It’s Totally Fine, though. I’m blonde. I can get away with being absent minded and having hairy legs. Score!

 

Plus, Zoe thinks I’m pretty.

Unfortunately I cannot get away with a freakish looking eyebrow. Not pretty.

WTF.

 

My hairdo isn’t too shabby though.

Changing subject in 3…2….1….

*I am calling nutritional yeast nutreast from now on. I don’t like the word nooch. Reminds me of hooch or cooch.

NUTRITIONAL YEAST = NUTREAST ©

Yes, this is the stuff I think about. Whatever. Totally FINE.

• What are you thinking about today?
• Do you care about looking pretty? I usually don’t, this is hard work!
• If you commented on my last post thank you for you well wishes, wisdom, advice and encouragement! I am feeling better.

 

 

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WTF Wednesday Repeat

Remember when I wrote this? I’m bringing it back. I’m even robbing the first paragraph. It fits– I’m having A DAY. I’m in a witchy funk. So, why not? Let’s do this.

I don’t write everyday because doing so would result in completely asinine posts like this one. Truthfully, I’m feeling super low and when I get in these funks I’m not fun to hang out with.

However, I’m having “a day” and it’s Wednesday so WTF as in:

WHATEVER. It’s TOTALLY FINE.

More Ws Ts & Fs….

W is WET HAIR.

WASHING your hair is optional after you get done swimming in the stinky pool when you’ll be swimming again in 8 hours.

You may look a mess when you show up for WORK, but…

Whatever. Totally Fine.

PS- Taking ridiculous pictures of yourself in the mirror is also totally fine. It’s better if you post them on the internet, and best if your bra shows 79% of the time.

T is for TWO-A-Days.

I recently started swimming twice-a-day. (Thus explaining the hair). I feel great and I’m accomplishing extraordinary things. I swam two miles yesterday. Hail Yeah. Excessive, perhaps, but:

Whatever. It’s Totally Fine. 

I know my body.

F is for Fueling with Caffeine.

I’ve been drinking coffee again. I thought I lost my taste for it, but I’ve enjoyed it lately.

I blame this little guy.

 

I don’t think I like coffee so much as I adore using the Keurig machine. I feel like Judy Jetson. Plus, it has this amazing star design.

I’m all about cheap thrills. It’s Totally Fine.

Before anyone comments let me add I FUEL with FOOD.

(Duh)

Here is a random sample of stuff I have at the office right now.

When I can’t be bothered, I just snack on random stuff all day long. Like a cow. (More on that later).

Whatever. Totally Fine.

OK. Time for me to get back to work. My boss gave me this assignment.

Oh, but yes. That is a Pop Quiz.

WTF?

Whatever. It’s Totally Fine.

• What are your WTF’s
• Do you ever do two-a-days?

 

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