WTF Wednesday: I Found the Coon Butter

It had been a while and I had one thing on my mind:

Sunflower Seed Butter.

Yes, that was my mission as I entered my happy place Whole Foods. I intended to make my own, but I remain undecided as to whether that is actually cheaper in the end.
I headed over to pick up my favorite –MaraNatha Sunflower Seed Butter.

But to my displeasure they were out of stock.
Then, to what my wondering eyes should appear but this little beauty. On sale, no less. $4.99.

I got super excited because I had found the coon!

Say whaaaa?

A certain friendly awesome* of mine had sent me this photo. There is an inexorable mind link for some of my friends between me and PBJ. I love it.

(*Two adjectives can make one noun in my Missyese.)

She asked if I had tried that nut butter brand before but I’d never seen it – but I got a kick out of that raccoon on the label. So when I saw it in the store I thought “Stacy!” 

Stacy is inexorably linked in my mind with supreme awesomeness. So the Sunflower Butter was purchased.

Well. 
In the middle of a serious spoonage sesh on the couch I remembered the reason I only buy Maranatha Brand.

It is the only one with no sugar. (If you missed it, I don’t like sugar.)

I flipped the jar over and yup.

Not just sugar, but evaporated Cane juice. Evaporated cane juice as the second ingredient!

WTF.
Whatever. Totally FINE.

This week I really mean it. For real ‘do.

I’m okay with it and glad it happened. I will be consuming the rest of this butter and I don’t give a coon’s azz. Yes, I am still leery of it but I am swallowing all those thoughts because it’s JUST FOOD.

There was a time when there is no way this would have made it in my cart because I obsessed over food labels (ingredients) determined to stick to my meal plan. I never forgot to check.
There was a time when I would have pawned the open container off on my family – never to be consumed by me again.

But not now.
I am glad that I have a little wiggle room, it makes me feel sane.

PLUS I now know the story behind the coon.

Sorry to bore you, this was kind-of sort of a big deal that turned into the most inconsequential thing ever.
In summary: I bought sunflower seed butter and ate it.

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WTF Wednesday

Life hands us stuff: lemons, blessings, unfortunately located piles of dog poo, rainbows….etc. Not all of it is tasteful, but our job is to make do. That means thinking WTF and moving on. WTF as in: WHATEVER. TOTALLY FINE.

Like…take for instance my latest fashion accessory:

It’s like a scarf…

 

Except it’s not.

My back and neck are jacked up something FEIRCE.

Whatever. Totally. FINE.

ARRRRggghh. When it rains it pours. Time takes time and the body heals at its own pace. A few months of treating it better may not mean shiz as far as it’s concerned.

I’m thinking God approves for me to sit still on my razzmatazz for a good long while. Groin, Ribs, feet…. HE work all things for good.

So it’s fine! Whatever!

And meanwhile THIS single gal has a bed buddy.

And it will not mind at all if I eat PBJ in bed with it.

 

I felt bereft if I did not write something today. Who knows why. I’d apologize for lack of content and the over share but then I would apologize every time I write.

But seriously …  please don’t think this is “poor me” drivel.
It’s just …funny to me.

Angering too… health is NOT something to take for granted.

Also I’m bored.

 

Love to love ya!

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WTF Wednesday

Life hands us stuff: lemons, blessings, unfortunately located piles of dog poo, rainbows….etc. Not all of it is tasteful, but our job is to make do.

That means thinking WTF and moving on.

WTF as in: WHATEVER. TOTALLY FINE.

So….WTF…..

Hairline fracture to the rib. From leaning over an armrest to grab a pen that had rolled off my desk.

Whatever. Totally Fine.

I’m a champion.

This, my friends, is a product of fine-honed Vitamin D deficiency and malnourishment. WTF. Totally Fine.

No… really. It’s not fine. It’s not funny. It’s LAME and SICK and frankly…it pisses me off. (Yes. Pisses.)

So…in a way? Yeah. Whatever. TOTALLY FINE. Because you know what? I’m DONE with this shiz. Done.

It’s clicking. Miraculously by the Grace of God…  I am getting healthy and I am no longer scared. Fear is fake, anyway.

Meanwhile….don’t worry about me. I’m sure I’ll be okay. I’ve got so much to be grateful for – to look forward to.

Oh and….

 

• I miss blogging because I miss …YOU. (Yes, you.) So fill me in…what are you WTFing about.
• Also, please say hi if you never comment. Please? I’m-a play the sick card.

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WTF Wednesday – How Now Brown?

Yesterday I got a letter from my friend Jess.

 

Though I don’t look thrilled about it in this picture (wtf), I assure you I was SO happy to hear from her.

See what she did here?

How could I not write a WTF Wednesday post today?

So here we go.

Did you ever have a “I hate what I’m wearing” day? One of those days where you get ready for work and as soon as you leave the house you start to feel uncomfortable/itchy/boring/fat/skinny/hot…etc.?

It’s like a “bad hair” day. It’s a “bad outfit” day.

Any-

I feel brown and blah, like a frumpy-dump.

 

(I have no idea why my face is like that…too funny. I look devastated and disgusted, I wasn’t.)

My waistline is too high, too tight and my my legs feel all suffocated.

But I’m here. I’m stuck. I deal.

Whatever. Totally fine.

As is the fact they’ve discontinued Ruby Red Grapefruit Crystal Light.

It’s fine. I mean, I’ve been drinking it for like 80 years and there is no other sugar free grapefruit flavored beverage on the market (I researched). It’s gone. Whatever.

 

It’s fine that I drove to 7 different stores searching for any stragglers left behind. That’s not crazy or anything. It’s fine. Totally not obsessing.

OH and I forgot my lunch today – which means foraging in the office fridge for lunch. I usually have all kinds of back-up, but I must have slacked off.

So for lunch I had romaine lettuce, egg whites, Bragg’s liquid aminos and nutritional yeast. What the….should we just go ahead and call that the anorexia salad? I swear I was hiding when I ate it. Too embarrassing.

I also had 1/2 of an Orgain* to “round out” a classic example of an eating-disordered lunch. It would have been that much better if it were an Ensure. LOL. #whatNOTtodo

Totally fine. It happens. Whatever.

*This is why, though they make me…uncomfortable(?), those protein/meal shakes are a REAL good idea for people with EDs. NUTRIENT DENSITY. I just wanted to put that out there, if I can do it…you can do it.

 

• What are you – pshaw - FINE with today?
• Do you have attachment issues with products (I know you do)…tell me about it! (If you want)

 

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WTF Wednesday

It’s Wednesday again. (Funny how that keeps happening, huh?) A day to acknowledge that sometimes you have to think WTF.

As in: WHATEVER. It’s TOTALLY FINE.

Life is Crazy. I’m Crazy. Whatever. Totally Fine. Shrug it off.

You with me?

Okay. I’m sore. In my “groin” area. I must have pulled something – though I can’t imagine how. Power driving? Hitting the couch too hard?

Whatever. All I want to do for the past few days is stand like this:

  

I can’t help it. It’s the only thing that brings relief. Every chance I get at work I’m either standing like that or doing something like this:

I don’t even care who sees me.  Awkward. Totally Fine.

Speaking of eggs….

I’ve been eating hard-boiled eggs from Easter. Little did I know, you should really only keep them a week or two.  Oops.

But they tasted fine, I’m fine…whatever!

Totally fine.

Then there’s this:

I am less than thrilled – (why? i have no clue. stupid eating disorder. frustrating).

BUT sometimes we gotta just shrug it off.

Tell ourselves:  WHATEVER. It’s TOTALLY FINE.

It’s totally worth it.

PS-  Orgain actually tastes good. Really! It’s my favorite of all the protein shakes I’ve tried. Super clean ingredients and stats.

Lots of (!) calories packed full of the good shtuffs. Missy recommends.

PSS- Thanks for recommending Orgain months ago,  Lindsay.  I had seen them, but shied away. I drink them often now. Probably because I want to be more like you. (0:

• Have at it! Let your Freak Flag Fly….what’s your WTF?

 

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WTF Wednesday – Cold Rock Lobster

Life hands us stuff: lemons, blessings, unfortunately located piles of dog poo, rainbows….etc. Not all of it is tasteful, but our job is to make do.

Accept and move on.

Sometimes that requires adopting a “WTF” mentality.

WTF as in: WHATEVER. TOTALLY FINE.

Here’s some stuff I’ve been “Totally Fine” with lately.

What’s wrong with this picture?

 

Can you find the things that do not belong?

Socks. Shoes. Pants. Sleeves. Sweater. Layers.

(No visible bra strap.)

Freaking Layers. Really?

 

I hate (HATE!) cold weather. I was considering a lounge by the pool last weekend and now this:

Whatever. It’s Totally Fine. I live in Florida and this is as bad as it will get. I seriously don’t understand how “you people” do it. #Floridagirl4ever

 

On New Years Eve my Mom treated me to a lobsters dinner.

That wasn’t a typo. I meant lobsters. Plural.

I ate two (2!) entire Maine lobsters. Whatever. Totally Fine. Happens everyday. Normal.

The rest of my family ate Chicken Parm while I tackled $40 worth of seafood. I’m spoiled.  Totally Fine.

My nephew was fascinated by the entire lobster “event.”

“That’s disgusting Aunt Missy”

 

No worries, he’s like “WTF, I love her anyway.” 

 

Wrinkles. Totally Fine. I think there’s like a cream for that or something. In my medicine cabinet. Getting dusty.

At least I don’t have age spots.

Those are blood blisters. Whatever. Totally fine. I got pinched in my beach chair…they’ll just remind me of how lucky I am to be a Florida girl despite this gruesome cold snap.

• What are you WTF-ing lately?
• I’m getting that weird thing that happens when you say a word too many times…”layers, layers, layers…”

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WTF Wednesday – Overshare Edition

Life hands us stuff: lemons, blessings, unfortunately located piles of dog poo, rainbows….etc. Not all of it is tasteful, but our job is to make do.

And sometimes that means thinking WTF and moving on.

WTF as in: WHATEVER. TOTALLY FINE.

Life’s been handing me WAY too much reality than I care for this week. I need to unload.

This WTF Wednesday is a bit of an overshare.

I prefer my reality with a side of glitter and more cowbell, but all I’ve got is bare-skinned truth served up raw. Reader beware.

Before I begin, here’s a rainbow. See it?  I feel more balanced already.

My flu-like symptoms and I went to the Doctor yesterday. Guess what guys? I have anorexia. Who’d have thought?

In other words, he took one look at me and told me my body was malnourished despite what my bloodwork might indicate.

I have the BEST Dr. in the world. He knows my history, my diagnosis…he knows that I know. He knows my entire family actually. He grasps my hands in his, gives the best hugs and tells me he loves me (all of which make me cry like a baby). He told me it hurt him to watch me destroy my life when I was capable of such happiness.

The thing is, I thought I had the flu. But no. I do this to myself, evidently.

“You’ll be lucky if you reach the age of forty,”  he said.

 “Your brother died of a heart attack on the soccer field. You will die alone in your bed in the middle of the night.”

 

There is absolutely nothing Totally Fine about that.

I left with a prescription for Prilosec and Glucerna. I told him the Glucerna wasn’t going to happen but I’d think about it and try to make my own version.

My unwillingness really bothered me. I kept asking myself “Why Not?” and I didn’t like the sound of my answers.

So I got these:

 

Question is will I drink them? If not – WHY not?

It’s just a 160 calorie, dairy-free protein shake. That’s it!

Someone needs some WTF lessons.

        

Just drink the dang drink. Whatever. It’s totally fine.

Continuing on in my atypical Tuesday…..

I went back to a support group that I have not attended in many months. It was wonderful. It was another 1.5 hours of being acutely aware that I have a major problem.

Let me be clear: I know I have a problem and I think about it everyday. I just mix it with a hefty dose of sparkles and rainbows. I have a pre-programmed auto-escape.

Oh and Friday?

Friday will mark two years gone by since my brother died.

Two more years of taking up space he’d be filling with so much more.

 

There is absolutely nothing Totally Fine about that.

I’ve been anticipating this date for months. I knew this week would be rough but….wow.

Now, if you don’t mind I’m gonna finish up work, go to church and then come home and crawl into this:

Yup. I’m 33 and I built a fort. Whatever. Totally Fine.

Don’t be jealous. I’d let you in.

   

 

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What I’m ____________ Wednesdays

There’s a WIAW party going on around the blogosphere. For non-blog addicts (i.e. more-normal people) WIAW, or “What I Ate Wednesday” is when a slew of bloggers take the time to show-and-tell us….wait for it…what they ate! On Wednesday!

The reasons I don’t partake in this activity are many and multifold. There are a few bloggers doing WIAW with originality and flair like Sarah @ The Smart Kitchen, but I could never match her genius.

Serena’s spin on things seems like a fun thing to do.

So here goes nothing. <—Literally!

But WTF – Whatever. It’s Totally Fine

What I’m Sipping On:

The caffeine content in Diet Sun Drop blows Mt. Dew out of the water.

This is also what I’m Getting High On and what I’m Not Feeling Guilty About today. 

 

What I’m Faking:

This salad was designed to taste like a Subway Sub. Romaine lettuce (I was out of shredded iceberg), banana peppers, pickles, onions, tomato, red wine vinegar, Italian seasoning, yellow mustard, S&P. I added black olives after I took the picture.

Eat. Fresh.

What I’m Listening To:

What I’m Wearing:

Black Dress by Gap, necklace by Joy, shoes, come-hither glance off camera. I’m also wearing yoga shorts under my dress, because.

 

What I’m Wanting:

I’ve always wanted to be a mailman..erm…postal worker. They get to  walk around outside and be friendly to people. They can wear shorts and knee-highs to work and their uniforms are pretty spiff.

PLUS….PLUS….They get to drive on the right-hand side of the car WITH the door open.

 

What I’m Weird Enough to Do:

My father always said, “It never hurts to ask. The worse that can happen is they say No.” My daddy is a wise man. I have NO shame asking for what I want.

Even if it’s “Can I pose with your truck? Can I get in? Will you take my picture while I’m doing it? Can I take your picture? And post it on the internet? In a ridiculous fashion?”

  

This post (<—Hah!) was bought to you by:

Who I’m Freaking Out this Wednesday. (Besides you guys).

Peace Out Mr. Postman!

• What’s your blank today?

The FedEx guy came in and sees this post in my Live Writer and he said “You should have a FedEx guy” and I said “Will you let me ride in your truck?” and he said “Yes! Come On.”

See? You never know unless you ask!

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WTF Wednesday

It’s Wednesday again. A day to acknowledge that sometimes you have to think WTF.

As in: WHATEVER. It’s TOTALLY FINE.

Life is Crazy. I’m Crazy. Whatever. Totally Fine.

You with me?

I’m writing more regularly (every other day) as an experiment. I’m curious what would happen if I just let loose and wrote about…whatever! Here goes nothing. <—Literally

During an insomnia-fueled viewing of The Tonight Show last night, I decided to look pretty more often. Was this inspired by watching Blake Lively? A little. 

But mostly I was wondering if I could attract a man like Blake Shelton.

Le Purrrrrrr. I want to curl up in his dimples and sleep for a very long time.

Would I have to pretend to like his music? Probably. Worth it.

I also decided I should work on my abs after Leno showed this picture:

I wonder if I could get ripped? I’ve never tried. Might be fun.

I decided to do sit-ups every morning.

I thought all this whilst shoving salty, greasy carbs in my mouth and lying in bed. Whatever! Totally Fine. Right?

So this morning I grabbed something a little different from my closet. I tried to get my pretty on.

Look! There’s Zoe!

I was too busy brushing the crumbs and nutreast* from my sheets that I didn’t have time for sit-ups. I did have time to get my neighbor to snap a picture. Is that normal? NO.

Whatever! It’s totally fine.

Actually – I’ll be honest. I forgot I had “the abs-thought” until now. I’m over it. Oh, the thinks you can think at 12am. Silly.

I also forgot to shave my legs. Fail. Not pretty. 

It’s Totally Fine, though. I’m blonde. I can get away with being absent minded and having hairy legs. Score!

 

Plus, Zoe thinks I’m pretty.

Unfortunately I cannot get away with a freakish looking eyebrow. Not pretty.

WTF.

 

My hairdo isn’t too shabby though.

Changing subject in 3…2….1….

*I am calling nutritional yeast nutreast from now on. I don’t like the word nooch. Reminds me of hooch or cooch.

NUTRITIONAL YEAST = NUTREAST ©

Yes, this is the stuff I think about. Whatever. Totally FINE.

• What are you thinking about today?
• Do you care about looking pretty? I usually don’t, this is hard work!
• If you commented on my last post thank you for you well wishes, wisdom, advice and encouragement! I am feeling better.

 

 

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WTF Wednesday Repeat

Remember when I wrote this? I’m bringing it back. I’m even robbing the first paragraph. It fits– I’m having A DAY. I’m in a witchy funk. So, why not? Let’s do this.

I don’t write everyday because doing so would result in completely asinine posts like this one. Truthfully, I’m feeling super low and when I get in these funks I’m not fun to hang out with.

However, I’m having “a day” and it’s Wednesday so WTF as in:

WHATEVER. It’s TOTALLY FINE.

More Ws Ts & Fs….

W is WET HAIR.

WASHING your hair is optional after you get done swimming in the stinky pool when you’ll be swimming again in 8 hours.

You may look a mess when you show up for WORK, but…

Whatever. Totally Fine.

PS- Taking ridiculous pictures of yourself in the mirror is also totally fine. It’s better if you post them on the internet, and best if your bra shows 79% of the time.

T is for TWO-A-Days.

I recently started swimming twice-a-day. (Thus explaining the hair). I feel great and I’m accomplishing extraordinary things. I swam two miles yesterday. Hail Yeah. Excessive, perhaps, but:

Whatever. It’s Totally Fine. 

I know my body.

F is for Fueling with Caffeine.

I’ve been drinking coffee again. I thought I lost my taste for it, but I’ve enjoyed it lately.

I blame this little guy.

 

I don’t think I like coffee so much as I adore using the Keurig machine. I feel like Judy Jetson. Plus, it has this amazing star design.

I’m all about cheap thrills. It’s Totally Fine.

Before anyone comments let me add I FUEL with FOOD.

(Duh)

Here is a random sample of stuff I have at the office right now.

When I can’t be bothered, I just snack on random stuff all day long. Like a cow. (More on that later).

Whatever. Totally Fine.

OK. Time for me to get back to work. My boss gave me this assignment.

Oh, but yes. That is a Pop Quiz.

WTF?

Whatever. It’s Totally Fine.

• What are your WTF’s
• Do you ever do two-a-days?

 

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