Atypical Tuesday

Oh. Hello!

Notice anything different about me?
And no, it’s not the bra strap – though yes it is different than usual.

 

How about now?

 

…or now.
 

Earrings.
Earrings like whoa. 

Dude, get a bra.

Anyways….here’s the story. Every Tuesday I set out to do something atypical because that’s why.
So this morning – feeling particularly um…well fed – I decided to put on something youguessedit atypical.

Well, it’s typical in that it’s neither fashionable or stylish but I was a long way from attempting that this morning #well-fed.

Enter Capri Leggings.
  

And whatever you call this kind of top.
(Besides maternity.)

Play  “I’m too Sexy” in your head right now and allow me my moment.

 

Ahh….ridiculous. Jut the way I like me.

Okay – but then a client comes in and asks if I have pierced ears.

“Nice to see you, Mr. Bergman. And yes, I do.”

We digressed- apparently he has absolutely no idea why no one understands that the internet is illegible and everything should be in black and white. He can’t stand that blue type. He’s written AOL, Home Depot…etc. (He’s not crazy. Just eccentric.)
Meanwhile he pulls out a large jar of earrings from his backpack.

A jar. Of Earrings.
And 79 year-old Mr. Bergman.
He wants to give me earrings. No big deal.

How’s that for atypical?

I show him the conference room where he carefully laid out about 50 pairs of earrings and told me to choose six. Um…..

Earrings aren’t entirely my thing. I have a small pair of diamond earrings and I know FOR SURE I will one day own a pair of brilliant diamond studs. (It’s been my dream since high school.) But usually I think about rings or necklaces or anklets when it comes to jewelry.
But honestly I’m usually too busy thinking about food&co.

 
And Glitter.

ANY – I was faced with this huge selection of well…they were…interesting. I settled on these three for myself,  Not knowing what I would do with them.

And now I ….

 

Have earrings?

(I also have hair wings – but that’s for another day).

I don’t know ladies.

And that’s my story.

• Tell me something atypical about your day – or what you WILL do to make it so. (If you want.)
  
• You KNOW I’m hoping I get some solid fashion advice out of this, and I want honesty!!

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Gettin’ down like Finding Nemo and shiz…

Those who know me outside this silly blog might be aware I’ve had one thing on my mind lately.

(Source)

Swimmers. I mean…swimming. SWIMMING.

(Source)

Actually a Lochte lot of things.

(Source)

 Hard. Core. <—Pun intended.

 
(Source)

But mainly swimming.
For real though, I’m a loopy record talking about how “I want to “ and “I need to” and “I’m going to” get my swim-mojo working. So far? All talk – no action.
This troubles me because swimming is like my thing. I love it. It’s mind-body-soul catharsis. It keeps me copasetic. It’s…it’s fun! It’s not really “exercise.”

I’ve taken the pool at my gym for a few spins, but basically I’m slacking. I had not hit the big-girl pool once. I had a feeling the Olympics would put me in the mood (<—heehee).
I was right because after watching the finals and qualifying and men races …last night and this morning I woke up and it was ON.

See? The big-girl pool. Weeeeee! I got my grub on breakfastandlunch-style (!) and took it to the lanes.
Well, mostly I did a lot of this.

That’s the requisite shot if you go to a body of water and write a blog, right? Oh wait. I did it wrong.
You’re supposed to show the water, right?

Oh well. I turn my chair around. The reason I love this pool is because it overlooks this:

Which is not a typical view in SoFla so it’s nice. The pool is relatively quiet, not crowded, and there are cicadas in the trees. Music to my soul. It puts me in a trance.

I just zone out and read and read and …occasionally swim. I did 1000m today in two batches at a crawl.
Oh, and I read. Did I mention that?

 

Check out these bookmarks my friend Debbie gave me. They are magnets and you clip them on the page. 

I collect magnets and bookmarks so this was like such a happy-maker for me. I love these little dudes.

Okay that was random. Sorry I am distracted. I’m watching swimming, waiting for Gymnastics to start and I’m all excited.

• Does watching the Olympics inspire you at all?

Watching any athlete –heck people in the gym even and those late night infomercials-  makes me realize how out of shape and weak I am. That is a good thing for me.

• What, if any, events do you like to watch?

 

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I’m a Food Superhero (um..kind-a-sort-a)

Guess what? I’m a Food Superhero!
Or…maybe I’m not a Food Superhero (because of the whole E.D thing)

BUT I play one on the interwebs.

   

Superhero Name: Peanut Butter Pickle Princess

Human Name: Missy
Food Superpower: Snap! I see right through food labels.
Food Kryptonite: Sugar

Weapons of Choice:

 

Oh, SNAP!

After all – I meet the criteria (criterion?).

   

I got an email from FoodCorps saying that Stonyfield will donate $1 to them if I simply gave my super Peanut Butter Pickle Prowess some street cred and went public.

Didn’t have to ask me twice. I loveLoVeLOVE FoodCorps.

It’s, in a way, a dream job. I would apply (really!) however they don’t have a location in Florida yet and I can’t do cold <—and yes, it’s that bad. (Also, I should look healthy if I’m-a preach healthy and people keep telling me I don’t so I must accept that).

Their Vision:

We envision a nation of well-nourished children: children who know what healthy food is, how it grows and where it comes from, and who have access to it every day. These children, having grown up in a healthy food environment, will learn better, live longer, and liberate their generation from diet-related disease.

 

If your jealous – and I know you’re jealous — click here and do something right for the world (if you want).

And while you’re at it join my crusade!
You can come willingly..

Or be taken by force. 

You’re choice. But PLEASE – If you join the Peabee and Pickle Party

——->DO IT RIGHT!!!<—-

 

Half Sours people. Half. Sours.

• I’m curious, do you meet the Food Superhero criterion?

  I am like the dirtiest produce eater EVER<—Ev.Er.
  but I gave myself a check for at least knowing what the EWC list is and being aware of the dirty dozen. I also don’t buy organic usually but I KNOW about it. So be liberal and give yourself credit!

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This is your Brain. This is your Brain on…..and the Wisdom to Know the Difference.

Last night my friend and I went out for drinks and sohappytogether time.

That’s mine on the left. An iced err…”shaken” Passion Tazo tea. So fancy. So potentially problematic. You see, I just knew I’d have trouble accepting the fact that it was unsweetened and caffeine free. I was prepared though. I’m used to it. It’s just STOOOOPID.

But yet this morning it was STILL on my Radio KDFK. So much so that I posted this in a support group I belong to.
Just to vent. It was SO IRRITATING.

Yes, irritating. It was so annoying hearing that stupid crap buzz around in my brain like fly.

*note – the word “hearing” is key here. Hearing is different than thinking. 

This afternoon I had a Dr Appointment. The second time in a row he was pleased with me (high-fiving myself). I don’t expect applause but I will take bows for every small thing thankyouverymuch.

One thing “we” are working on is increasing my sodium intake and he wants me to drink Gatorade (and milkshakes but he knows that ain’t happening…lol) . Though this University of Florida alum LOVES Gatorade in theory, it’s not my cup of anything.

 
Instead, I have been drinking vegetable juice and electrolyte balanced drinks…etc.
And eating more salt (trying at least).

Leaving his office on a “Idonegood!”  high, I was happily sipping my Smart Water Zero when I though to check the sodium content – which I am now realizing I never even saw because:

Yeah. NOT Vitamin Water Zero. The irony. It’s like God was all “I’ll take your herbal tea insanity and raise you one cane sugar and fructose laden bottle of fuel for thought!”

  Oh the places your brain will go! The thinks it will think!

So yes, my brain had a field day with that. And me? I was just sitting there enjoying taking in the freak show.

It was noticeably different than how I would have reacted in the past. I felt like more of a witness and less of a player in the game. An impartial witness?

No. Let’s not go too far.
More like a passive, bi-partisan witness.
Cool. I’ll take it.

I wanted to write about this because it’s a little peek into the insanity of my ED head which I don’t choose to write about much.

I certainly don’t have much to admire in terms of recovery. <—Understatement.

This doesn’t erase the fact that I lost minutes of my life in a mind-fog in front of tofu tonight as I presided and deliberated over the caloric differences between varieties. (All the while extremely frustrated with myself and I was NOT impartial this time).

Yes, I threw the rest of the bottle away. Yes, I came home and checked the other bottles to see if I made the same mistake. (I am getting so lazy the older saner I get. How did this even happen? Who am I? LOL. )

I don’t have the power to choose the insane thoughts, reactions, and behaviors I have and feel regarding food. At least not yet. The best I can hope for at this point is to be less and less and less invested in them.

Less Captivated.
 

As time goes on, I am beginning to see myself emerge from some of the things I was once captive too….little by little.
This gives me hope. Time takes time.

• Care to share any crazy thinks you’ve thunk HEARD lately?
  

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Saturday I’m in Love

I’ll let The Cure have Fridays.

It’s Saturday and lately I’ve been loving:

Sporting plaid shorts.

 

Like a boss.

   

#hotlikeme

Re-upping my hummus stash at the Farmers Market.

 

Gluttony. It’s no big deal.

Replenishing my Everything Bagel Spice stash. Again, no shame.

Free gifts with purchase!

Getting free stuff in the mail is cool.

I was mid-tossing this “junk mail” when something (?) stopped me. Surprise! Free cash money. $1 baby.

I’ve decided to love the name of this bakery.

It’s just too weird not to love it. Makes me want to randomly pair an adjective, a verb, and a noun and open a shop of my own. Plaid Drink Ball. Cold Vacuum Lemon.

Speaking of Cold Drinks….
Tea + lemon + stevia + hot day

= I’m in love.

Jake Gyllenhaal on a Friday night.

Yes please.

I love my Miller Girls.

And I’d LOVE to hit up the beach or pool today so I’m-a go see about that.

• What are you loving on today? There is so much I am NOT loving today (FOR REAL) so it’s nice to focus on the good.

 

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(¯`*•.¸,¤°Breathe~¤..♥

Breathe.

It’s kind-of my thing.

Yup. Breathing. I’m a fan.  (0;

If you are familiar with me, you’re probably used to me repeatedly telling you to “breathe” which I know sounds cloyingly trite and obvious.

But I say it anyway because that one simple word has changed my life.

I’ve known the importance of the breath, of course, for ages. Yoga and meditation practice instilled it in my soul. But what I’m referring to is not the deep, ujjayi, inhale-exhale, greenteacandleommm type of breathing.

It’s just being aware that you are, or should be, breathing all the time. The simple yet profound act of directing my attention to my breath at any given moment brings me instantly into the present.

The here and now.

Being present changes…oh, just about everything. I value it so much because (here’s where it does get kind-of deep) God meets us in the present moment.

So when I am fully in the present, I am in His Presence.

To me, God’s Presence is the Presence.

The Presence, the moment, the breeze through the trees, the sunlight sparkles on the water, the sound of a child’s sneakers as they skip across the ground, even the silent tears shed hot against your cheek.

Breathe.

My best friend gave me this beautiful necklace for my birthday. It is truly one of the most magical gifts I’ve ever been given. Nestled right between my third and fourth chakras, it not only reminds me of the beauty of breathing but hopefully might move others to breathe when they see it.

It’s perfect.

Thank you.

• How’s your breathing? Yes, you. Yes, right now. Right. Here. And. Now. Breathe. Be here. Enjoy.

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Something Awesome Happened Today

I was having a bit of a “U-C-K” day.  Suck. Yuck.

Whatever. Totally Fine. I breathe.

But then, something AWESOME happened.

So I did what we all do after the occurrence of awesome.
I updated my Facebook status.

And now I’m blogging about it.

I think you should watch this video (if you want). Let me know if you can appreciate the awesomeness. That’s how I will know where “my people” at.

Cause if you don’t think this is awesome, you need awesome lessons. (0;

1. The girl has more bra strap than I ever will.

2. I cannot count the number of things I love about this video.

3.  I WILL memorize that choreography and earn my honorary member spot on C-High Color Guards. I need to be up in those bleachers.

4. My friends and I made an epic (<—and I’m not using that term in the trendy way) music video to the Beastie Boys “Egg Man” in High School. In a grocery store.  If I recall I dove into a bin of cheese slices. It was amazing.

5. I’m forever saying how grateful I am there was no such thing as youtube or facebook when I was coming up and yet…here I am posting ridiculousness all over the interweb. Hmm…

6. I want to hang out with those girls.

7. I pulled a muscle in my neck from trying to cop all their head rolls. I think head rollin’ has to come from within.

 

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The Importance of Being Ernie (or Bert)

If you didn’t grow up watching Sesame Street or if it’s been a while and your memory is foggy this probably won’t make a lot of sense.

But say you’re like me – a devoted fan of the show which, I believe, was one of the most groundbreaking things to EVER happen on television. Sesame Street…where do I begin?…let’s just say Sesame Street had a profound impact on society, education, children’s programming, family entertainment, celebrity PR, public broadcasting….etc.

Let’s not get too analytical here because – well, then my brains would start to show and I don’t do that on my blog. LOL. Really I just want to write about a think I thunk yesterday about Bert and Ernie (and, no, I’m not going there).

Bert and Ernie are dynamically opposing characters. The dudes couldn’t be more different. Burt is rational, orderly and structured. He likes mundane things like news radio, bottle-cap collecting, watching pigeons, lentil soup and making the bed. He is quick to get angry and frustrated. Especially around Ernie.

Ernie is arguably the more winsome of the two . He’s frivolous and playful. He likes to joke around and play games. He likes his rubber duck, jelly beans and eating cookies in bed. He’s simple-minded and often learns a lot from Burt, who does exhibit patience with Ernie most of the time. Ernie, in exchange, doesn’t mind Bert’s sometimes irritable and grumpy demeanor.

Burt and Ernie are roommates and the best of friends (and again -not going there). They get along. They accept each other. They appreciate each other. They make peanut butter sandwiches together. They argue. They laugh. They love each other!

They see ALL the bits and pieces of each other. They see their strengths, their weaknesses, their beautifuls and their uglys. Everything. They know the person for who they are.

A person is really more than just a SUM of their parts. It’s something beyond that. Their parts fit together and melt, compliment and detract in far more complicated way than simple math.

The negatives do not diminish the positives.

You know what I mean?
I think we should all be like Bert and Ernie.

I guess that’s what I’m saying. LOL. Brilliant.

I’d like to share something about myself.

When I talk about this, I know it sounds ridiculous or comes across as flighty, naive, or fake.  It’s not. No joke. I have analyzed the sparkle out of this and it’s not stemming from some therapy mumbo jumbo childhood place either. And no, I’m not extrasupernice! or a push-over. This is just me.

I have never hated or really even disliked anyone in my life.

I have this obstinate inability to dislike anyone. What I’m saying is – I pretty much love everybody.  Yup.

When I feel like I might dislike someone (which has happened three times in my my life, two were professional colleagues of mine), I get extremely uncomfortable because it feels foreign. It’s also confusing because I simultaneously find my heart accepting them just as they are- the good and the bad. It’s like I understand and the “good” counts for a lot.

Then I realize my “dislike” was really just me getting angry or something. The feeling fades quickly. I don’t do anything or have to get over it it just…goes away. That’s another thing.

I’m incapable of staying angry. I also cannot – cannot even comprehend how to begin to- hold a grudge. I have no idea what that even feels like.

There. That was a little piece of my soul I shared with you.

Anyways – Back to Bert and Ernie.

I think this little number says it best:

SUNG:
Ernie: But though I don’t always like everything
Bert: That I like
Both: Still I like you
Bert: Though I’m not too crazy about your rubber duckie
Ernie: Though I don’t love pigeons
Both: Still we’re awfully lucky
‘Cause I like you

• Sesame Street fan? What’s one thing Sesame Street taught you?

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Deliveries of Deliverance

I know some pretty heroic people. They gift me with support, kindness, giggles, inspiration and so much more. They’ll even come to my rescue.

These past two months I’ve gotten some unexpected deliveries that have simply touched my heart and soul.

For example, the Nuttzo that Lindsay sent me.

The way to Missy’s heart is through her nut butter.

I spied Nuttzo PF on Lindsay’s blog and became fixated on it. When she found out they didn’t stock it at my local Whole Foods she sent me one!

Deliverance.

Um…wow!!! I have been rationing this baby like the liquid gold it is.  (Or..buttery gold?) I’m proud of my restraint.

There’s a little under 1/2 left. I’ve got plenty of time to get a second mortgage in order to finance my next jar. And there WILL be a next jar. Whole Foods stocks it now. I’m not proud of my lack of restraint. I kind of get attached to things.

Remember this post?

 

Shortly after sharing my depression dilemma over my gottahaveit flavor of Crystal Light…Katie sent these:

  

Deliverance.

I know! So sweet. I’m savoring each and every little drop and not thinking about anything else. One day at a time.

But wait, there’s more!
She also threw in some other things she thought I might like. She was wrong.
I LOVED them.

This sticker for example.

Little did she know it fits perfectly with my collection of bumper

decals/magnets.

 

She also sent Sandwich Petals .

I immediately flipped to the ingredients because I avoid flour. I was super-surprised when I read them.

No flour. And though I avoid sugar -  I happily ate them all because I eat what I want.

There are only two other brands of wraps I buy and one of them was being discontinued so – discovering these?

Deliverance.

Also. This came.

I had been sporting my Kindle around in an ankle sock for months and procrastinating getting a cover. I happen to be surfing the net and spied a cute one so I pinned it on Pinterest and …my friend was like “THAT SHALL BE YOURS.”

And boom.

She delivered me and my Kindle from our naked shame.

Orange inside!!

Just looking at this makes me happy. And my kindle is happy too.

Wow. So …that was me bragging about all my cool stuff and how lucky I am but I most of toast just want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my peanut butter-filled heart.

 

• Tell me something.
• No, really. Just tell me something.

PS- Those wraps?  Them babies be good. SO good you guys. They last forever too. The only place you can get them is through the web. I’m considering ordering some. You can buy them individually here.

PPs- Camera wonky. Pics worse than usual.

PPPS- No mortgage. I rent. I was just being silly me.

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TGYWT

Thank God Yesterday Was Thursday.

Or, TGYWT!

I don’t use the phrase “Thank God” casually. Yesterday was rough.  I sucked at yesterday.  In fact I kind of suck at doing these past two weeks.

I’m grateful for a Lord who makes all things new and who gives us the gift of the present day. And weekends. Thank you, God.

SO without further ado about nothing I present to you five no-thangs that begin with T-G-Y-W & T.  Because.

This.

I hear ya, Boo. For real. I’m a water retention phenom today. I am certain if I were wearing socks they would hurt. Whatever. It’s fine. Those Terra chips are well worth it.

Grrrr….

I’ve been feeling a bit ornery of late and I’m not used to getting so…irritated. But let’s just say I’m done wasting my time.

For. Real.
I am so tired of people picking apart every thing I say, do or choose and labeling it as eating disordered. Literally. Tired! I understand these may be gestures of caring…but I can’t keep explaining myself again and again it’s EXHAUSTING. And the audacity of some people is a little over the top.

I am 34 years old. I’m a grown woman. An intelligent one. I know myself better than you do. As does my Therapist. Which you are not. My eating disorder is different than yours is or was. I am capable of making my own decisions and forming opinions that are independent from my struggles. Say what you need to say but I don’t have energy to explain anymore.

Yay! 

Just Yay.

Wanna see a picture of me when I was widdle?
 

I want a spin-off of that dress so badly. Navy blue, white..polka dots.…strawberries. My style hasn’t evolved.
 

Taking a spin on my phat ride. <—remember?

 

My bestie requested proof. 

Ain’t no thang.

Really. It’s nothing.

PS- I actually don’t use the term bestie. Neither does she. In fact it’s so not us— that it’s wus. Because I am so sure she laughed when she read the word “bestie”

PPS- This is me when I get my “bee” on.  Coincidentally processed carbs make me moody like that. But again, Terra chips are worth it.

I’ll be back Monday. Happy weekends!!

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