Um….can I just share?
I’m pretty sure I have a bruised rib.
There’s no visible bruise, but it hurts right here:
But only when I breathe and move and stuff. Or sleep. Or wear my bra.
No biggie.
But HOW? What did I do to warrant this affliction?
THIS. THIS is what really irritates me.
On Saturday my Mother and I went to Sam’s and during the frenzy of checking out (seriously, couldn’t they add a little “landing pad” on the other side of the register?) I reached across the cart and just sort of leaned into this:
I say “leaned into” because literally –that’s all I did. But the pain! You’d have thought I got a running start and impaled myself on the corner of the box.
I guess my point is:
I bruised my rib on a box of crackers.
Jacked my shiz up, y’all. Who DOES that?
Suffice it to say, I’m-a be low key for a whiles I think. Again. Living the high life over here. Kombucha wishes and kimchi dreams…
And that’s my story.
You kind of have to be here.
- What is the weirdest injury you’ve ever achieved? I’ll pass out “I’m Special” certificates.
- Favorite Ralph quote? (PS-Don’t tell me you don’t like/know the Simpson’s. No, really. Please don’t. I try really hard not to judge and that … that’s a toughie to overlook. Keep it quiet.)
Oh this will be good. One time I was picking up my cousin at UM before a football game. The passenger seat had a bunch of trash on the floor, and I put a water bottle in between my teeth so I could have two hands to pick stuff up. As I leaned down, the gear shifter hit the bottom of the bottle and the top/cap shot to the roof of my mouth all the way to the back of my throat! Blood all over the place. I tried to play it off because I felt like a moron. But after a few days, I couldn’t even talk and my tongue was bright white. So I went to urgent care. as humiliating as it was to tell the doctor the story, I had to get anti biotic’s and a tetanus shot! Who has to get a shot for deep throating a plastic bottle by accident??
I hope you feel better soon
You are freaking GOLDEN!!!
Ah…it was a painful laugh but well worth it…oh and PS that sux and all that but I know you so I am guffawing and ouch!
With ALL the stuff you’ve done THAT is how yoy wind up in urgent care. LOL.
We’ll catch up soon.
Hope you feel better soon!
Thanks Lucie~!
I’ve had the same mysterious pain as you o.O
My weirdest injury. Hm. I haven’t exactly had that many injuries… But my dad did manage to knock me right in the mouth one morning. That wasn’t good.
He didn’t mean it of course, he just burst out with his arms all of a sudden – I was there. In his way. Knock knock.
From a cracker box?
PS- My boyfriend gave me a black eye early on in our relationship. LOl. He was trying to rip a concert wristband from his wrist and I was in the passenger seat and bam– when it broke his elbow met my eye.
I felt so bad for him…
I hope it feels better soon. I have all kinds of awkward moments, we all do, and Ralph is hilarious on the simpsons!
I did something similar a few years ago. In all my years of running, I haven’t gotten hurt while running, but when I did a boot camp class, we did planks on top of this little platform… you know, those things in the parking lot that keep you from driving into the space in front of you? Yeah, well, my feet were on that and I slipped. My calf was bruised and brown looking like 5 minutes later… hurt like crazy!
Like your shin??? OWWWWW shin pain is the WORST. The shin doesn’t have a lot of fat and so when I hit mine I go into like anaphylactic shock.
I ended up in hospital on 7 IN THE MORNING on a MONDAY MORNING because 1) I am always clumsy, 2) I was already in that train at 5:30 so was deadbeaten tired, 3) had a hot water bottle just filled with BOILING water, 4) The train MOVES, which is not a good combo with all the aforementioned. Conclusion; me with extreme burns, my face split open bleeding, black/purple/blue blisters popping open all over. Yeah, twas awesome. And so early that even the ER-nurses were still sleeping…
(This was less than a month ago)
Ouch! Sooz! What???
That just –blood and burns…AND it was in the morning???
Yuck.
I don’t know if this could possibly be from the same thing, but I once hurt my ribs in that area from RUNNING. And I swear I didn’t run into anything. I was doing a pretty good pace when all of a sudden all of these people started walking on the track. It was one of those tracks that is suspended from the ceiling, so I had no way around them and had to stop suddenly. I’m not entirely sure why, but somehow stopping all of a sudden in the middle made my ribs hurt — kind of like when your ribs hurt from running when you’re out of shape — for several days. Did you do any strenuous activity while shopping at Sam’s lol?!
As for stupid injuries… other than walking into light poles every once in a while or (in undergrad) waking up with bruises after a night of dancing and forgetting most of the night, I’ve got nothing
I hope you feel better soon though!!!
Not sure whether to count your undergrad incidents in this contest — they seem like “inebriated follies” which — well perhaps I need to write a post about that!
I get really excited at Sam’s does that count? I grab like one of everything in their produce department. However, there is a lot of heavy lifting involved. I was pushing the load cart and we gat tons of heavy office supplies and water that I helped to lift. Hmmmm….
For some reason in my mind the rib injury while running makes complete sense because running to me is just…unfathomable. I legit CANNOT do it anymore.
i have my share of strange injuries. I fractured my neck in high school during gym class when a basketball rebounded and hit my head.
I’ve had multiple concussions, one from the St. Louis Arch, one from my husband accidentally elbow dropping me while we slept, one from the hatchback of an old car….. you get the point, I’m head injury prone
I broke my little toe when my husband’s soda bottle fell out of the fridge onto my toe.
This past Christmas I fractured my thumb by shutting it in my kids bedroom door. No, I wasn’t slamming the door, I was trying to pull it closed quietly and my thumb was completely smashed before I realized that it was in the door.
Yeah, the I’m special injuries are my specialty.
Silver Medal!!!
Some of those I could giggle at but this? “I fractured my neck in high school during gym class when a basketball rebounded and hit my head” AWFUL!
The kids door one is something I would do. I am the “absent minded” professor I swear.
The second time I fractured my back… On the trampoline pretending I was a gymnast – normal when you’re 12 not at 33
Ah! No …back fractures are no bueno. Twice? What the hey now?
I also got REALLY hurt when I was rollerblading — two years ago. I was 32.
It was also embarrassing because like…normal people can take a spill here and there but not me and my body. I was really bony back then too so it was terrible.
Ummm… I think you may have broken a rib. I had a friend who that happened to, and it just felt sore.
I have been sweating about it ever since. Yesterday was VERY painful. VERY…I really just need to be immobilized. Today sitting is a bit better and driving but by 5 pm I’m-a be done.
If the pain isn’t improving by Friday I am going in to the Dr.
I think that is a good plan. I *hope* it’s not the case, but I think it’s quite possible and with these things it’s better to know sooner rather than later. Keep us posted!
I says you got a love tap from the corner of a cracker box. Just trying to remind you to take care of what’s beneath there.
Special/stupid injuries? Well, the last one I can remember happened earlier this year when I was trying to be clever and sprang from the corner of my bed, to land on it in a not so nice way. Whiplash reminded me just how stupid that was. Actually, I do believe you witnessed this occur.
Favorite Ralph..”Me fail English? “‘That’s unpossible.”
Feel better Missy.
The whiplash episode — and the camera bag injury. I feel honored to have been there for both!
Ralph: “Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me”
LOLz for days.
I tore a disk in my back putting on pants! Not only that I wasn’t at home, I was in a store change room. Luckily I wasn’t alone, I could barely get in the car let alone drive one. The worst part was when people asked how I did it. When I told them, they’d just give me the side-eye like the didn’t believe me. Why would I make that up? And if I were going to make something up I’d think of something a damn sight better than putting my pants on.
That sounds super humiliating and awful! I coun’t even laugh because…well…you can’t laugh at a “torn disk in the back” <—holycowwow OUCH!
It hurt, but it was more immobilizing than anything. Its been fine since, touch wood, I still do my physio for it now and then when I feel a twinge. How are your ribs going? Have you been to the doctor about it?
You saw my facebook post a couple weeks ago? If not, tell me and I can give you a stupid Katie story. I have many of them. Sadly.
I was more of a Beavis and Butthead girl, but the Simpson’s were *okay*. I could kind of identify with Lisa.
DUDE!
How could I forget??
Oh, that trumps my injury. So hard. Because it involves the word “hobbit” and there was blood involved in a visible spot…hence a battle wound for days that you were forced to explain.
You get 2nd place trophy. Denis gets the Gold.
The battle wound remains, actually. I still have a large lump on my forehead. Guess I won’t be shaving my head any time soon.
I really didn’t see it in your pics from the wedding, though, so there’s that!
I broke my nose on my locker in jr. High, and I really thought that was my low point in the world of embarrassment, but I topped it when I broke my toe…walking up my driveway. I did t trip, I didnt fall. I just “stepped with authority” and–crack! Yup. I feel ya.
You were in fabulous heels though when it hapenned right? LOl. Or perhaps that is what birthed your love for shoes.
At any rate you certainly get an award because….well, Junior High????? Isn’t EVERYTHING that happens to you in Junior High 4,876 times more awful than at any other time in our lives?
I just normally fall randomly and sprain my ankle. It sucks, especially when I fall in front of a cute man. Since I stopped practicing yoga, it’s gotten even worse. (old dance injury).
The title of this blog article led me to believe that you found a tattoo from inside of a box of crackerjacks (because I had also first peeked at the photographs as I always do – and your skin baring photograph aided in that assumption). So my first thought was, “Why the hell would she be eating cracker jacks?” Second thought, “Oh! Yay! I can’t wait to see the tattoo!” Third thought, “I see no tattoo.” Fourth thought, “I hate Sam’s Club.” Fifth thought, “Her skin is perfect!”
And I hate the Simpsons. Passionately!
Sorry to sound like a Debbie Downer with all of my hates. But I hope that you get the recovery that you need and deserve, with regard to the bruise… and everything else.
Gosh, yoga is so incredible how it can repair and reconstruct the body. Glad you are getting back on the mat.
Your thought process is hysterical,by the way, love it.
Especially “Why the hell would she be eating cracker jacks?”
LOL. You got it.
I can certainly see why you’d hate Sam’s …
and it’s okay — I’m used to the hate.
PS- Crunch-n-munch is much better, of course. LOL. Off to erase all thoughts of me possibly being able to eat caramel corn like a “normal” person. Not that I’d want to even.
I don’t even know what would be my “crunch-n-munch” of choice these days. Perhaps Beanitos!!!
OMG — “crunch-n-munch” of choice.
I get that…lol.
Do-able yet…so…complicated.
These are the things one repeatedly puts in the basket and then back on the shelf at the grocery store. LOL.
But man, when we get them and can eat them sanely!! It gets easier every time.
I’m really sorry, Missy. Those rib injuries are the worst. I used to do that a lot when I was very unwell. Just leaning across the counter to get something and I’d hear a crack and come out with painfully bruised ribs. I even actually got cracked ribs for real once by being gently hugged
it HURTS doesn’t it! I better not make any jokes because otherwise I’ll make you laugh and that’s painful! We really need to do what cows and pigs do, they have spare ribs! A bit saucy sometimes, but a spare set would be good for times like this ;D
I don’t know what crackerjacks are. I keep seeing a leering jack in the box eating crackers… :///
Hope you feel better soon xxx
Google it Fiona, they are a classic Americana snackfood– basically caramel corn. They always had a prize inside.
I was shuddering reading about how easily your ribs would crack. My family is actually really carrying on about how this is ED related and at first I thought maybe …but I really don’t think it is. Especially now that my weight is up! But who knows. So frustrating to have to constant carry this ED badge. I get a cold? Eat more. What’s wrong with you? I have insomnia one night? Your body is starved…etc.It’s simply just NOT the case most of the time and yet, no one believes us because the stupid ED.
It could be, Missy, scary as that is. I hope it’s not, I really do. Have you had your bone density checked recently? Osteoporosis and even osteopenia can cause your bones to be so easy to crack and we lose bone density so fast with ED it’s scary. I went from osteopenia to full blown osteoporosis in less than a year.
xx
The ribs weren’t the scariest thing for me, it was the bone pain and my thighs. Our femurs are the longest strongest bones in our bodies – and both of mine thinned to the point of cracking. I ended up with stress fractures in both legs from just sitting round doing nothing!! And was facing a lifetime in a wheelchair at one point if didn’t turn things around quick smart.
I totally agree with you about the ED overshadowing everything else though. I think if a shark ate my leg off and I went to emergency for it, they would say to me, “Well if you didn’t have an ED and you ATE a SANDWICH, then the shark wouldn’t have eaten your leg.” And they’d prescribe a sandwich for the leg, too. Gah. It IS frustrating. I guess I can understand because the ED, especially anorexia is so in your face – that people do often find it very hard to see around it, and even when we have improved they can still be very wary. But no, it’s NOT who we are and NOT what we are. Hang in there – it might take a while – but with time, the people around you will adjust to you letting go of ED and be less likely to see you through the “Missy has Anorexia” filter. People take a while to get used to big changes
And why the heck would a shark want to eat us anyway?
LOL. Not a lot of meat there. And right now all my weight gain is pure fat so…do sharks eat fat? LOL.
Gosh, yes, I get SOSOSOSOSOSOSOOOOOOOOOOOO tired of this shizzle with the judging and projecting. Particularly this morning. A few comments yesterday and today already and it’s only 10 am!!
Last night someone I haven’t seen in a while was like…basically….I was worried you were dead. NICE!!
I mean, I get it …but ….
My favorite was when this person (in all innocent loveliness) said to me “I’m surprised you can even read”)
I mean, I love these people but sometimes? I get so CHEEZED!
No I have never had the bone density….scary though. I have know idea if I’d have either osteos, though.
People need to really think before they speak and write. Sigh.
Including myself. More sigh. *hugs*
I really really really really REALLY think you should ask to have a scan, Missy, please do. If you catch it early, you can make it better. It’s more likely than not that you do have some degree of bone loss. xxx
I hope that it’s nothing serious and it feels better soon. I fear all and any pain, even the slightest.
Also I love Ralph, I would marry him if Lisa didn’t!
As for the injuries. I had none. Seriously. Falling off the bike doesn’t count. But I’ve wrecked my body inside beyond the possible.
That’s right! I had forgotten all about that! I think I just want to adopt Ralph.
I’ve done/am doing damage to my innards as well FOR SURE.
But the bodies are amazing and can heal in so many ways. This little incident makes me really want to get my health back.
I hope it feels better soon. It could be worse and you could have a chest tube like me. NO fun. <3
Aw, Sarah..so true! I just felt a little sick at heart reading that, and knowing how I often <–understatement take my health for granted or destoroy what I do have.
4 days of shallow breathing and I just really feel for you.
“tastes like burning” ^_^
That is one of my standards! LOL. I say it all the time!! You made my day.
oh no! I hope you feel better soon!
I hope you are feeling better.
I required several stitches in my left hand because I stabbed myself with a paring knife. While trying to open a walnut. I’m no longer allowed around knives when my family is there.
stupid walnut…lol.
[...] Comments « Cracker Jacked [...]
I really don’t mean to offend (and I hope you feel better soon!) but the truth is that it happened because your ribcage/chest is very bony and there’s no flesh to protect your ribs. That’s why God made people with fat on their bodies – to cushion, warm, create hormones, create life, etc. :/ I hope you get better, Missy!
I kind of think the same thing too…it certainly is true for so many other ouchies I get. The fat certainly helps!
And muscle, too.
I am gaining fat more than muscle though right now. That’s what my body is wanting first me thinks.
I was just searching myself on google and was shocked to find a link that read ‘stupid Missy Trix’ (!). I see from your site that this is unrelated now. I’ve used Missy Trix as an alias for about 13 years