Warning: The following material contains lascivious discourse. Reader discretion advised.
Wanna hear a funny story? Well … it’s funny to me. Had me giggling quite a bit yesterday … I feel the need to document the event.
Yesterday evening my mother walked out of the office and quickly came back inside.
“Liss, come here for a sec,” she said in a hushed voice. “Come look at this.”
Usually this happens when there’s a nest of baby ducklings outside or a pretty flower. It was quitting time and I was in a “wrap things up” mood so I whined “What? Just tell me?”
“I think someone left a vibrator outside your window.”
** I’m offering a brief pause so you can let that settle**
I KNOW, right? (Hearing my Mom say “vibrator” only added to the confusion explosion in my brain.)
“Whaaa???”
“Come look!” my mom giggled.
“Mom, I don’t wanna see THAT!”
We said goodbye and I finished up at work. As I left, I simply couldn’t resist taking a look to see what was what.
Ready for this?
Thoughts? Opinions?
Confident it was innocuous, I walked over for closer inspection.
Yup.
My Mom’s “vibrator” was none other than….
A broom handle.
I promptly walked back inside to place the alleged sex toy on her chair, where it would be there to greet her in the morning.
I giggled about it most of the night.
“My Mom sees dead people vibrators.”
Despite my pleas, she refused to pose with the *ahem* broom handle today. So I did the obvious.
I photo bombed her. Then posted it on the internet. In true ridiculous fashion.
Seriously, between this Valentine’s Day and last Valentine’s Day….I’m not sure what to think anymore, Mom.
I feel dirty now. I’m going to wash my hands. Sorry for this atypical topic but heck…you get what you get when you come round these parts.
- So, what would you have thought upon first glimpse of this unidentifiable object lying in front of an office building?
*It must be said my mom has macular degeneration so her eyesight is not the best but…..I still think she has a dirty birdy mind.
PS- Mom, Go to Church!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh my GOSH that’s hilarious! I would never recover if my mom said that to me.
That cracked me up! I thought it looked like a vibrator at first! I was like omg…why would anyone do that (leaving vibrator outside of an office building)? Oh, it turned out to be a broom handle. Lovely. LOL. Great story!
Love it… not sure I would have known what it was either, but I don’t know if I would have guessed vibrator without your mom’s comment putting ideas in my head
Also, what the heck was with last Valentine’s day?!? *Must go read post*
Thanks for the laughs
Girl!
No comment. (‘Cept your Mom would appreciate a hug.)
LOL! i think that just made my day…. or my year. Go to church mom!
hahaha! i totally feel for you!
it’s nice to be at peace with that. poor sir edmund. and poor the men who are chasing you because you are gorgeous. they’ll never learn. xxx
last week, i told my mom and sister (on teleconference) that i intended to date a nice, successful, handsome man who boasted absolutely no sexual desire as a result of his testicular cancer experience. my conservative mom’s response? “haven’t you ever thought that he could seek sex in other ways?” i had NO freaking CLUE of what she meant. so my BABY sister proceeded to explain the “he can get off on the touching yourself” factor. GROSS ME OUT! EW. i felt like a kindergartener, and the images of your “vibrator” confirmed that feeling.
oh gosh!! Way to go Mom…too funny
You photobombed your mom with a fake vibrator on the internet. I don’t think I knew cool until I just read this post.
This post is everything
Oh dear this is hilarious!!! But that pink… thing.. at the end, what the heck? I feel dirty haha…. oh dear
thanks for the laughs xx
lol!
You have to click the link….because it’s a long story.
Urgh, that’s the type of thing my mum would probably say to freak me out! I wouldn’t have thought it was a vibrator, it looks exactly like the handlebar grips I bought for my old bike Rosie- they were that shape and colour!!! (WHat on earth did she buy that pink thing for him for! It’s vile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) You are, however, hilarious! Mwa ha ha ha!!!!
Lol.