Warning: The following material contains lascivious discourse. Reader discretion advised.
Wanna hear a funny story? Well … it’s funny to me. Had me giggling quite a bit yesterday … I feel the need to document the event.
Yesterday evening my mother walked out of the office and quickly came back inside.
“Liss, come here for a sec,” she said in a hushed voice. “Come look at this.”
Usually this happens when there’s a nest of baby ducklings outside or a pretty flower. It was quitting time and I was in a “wrap things up” mood so I whined “What? Just tell me?”
“I think someone left a vibrator outside your window.”
** I’m offering a brief pause so you can let that settle**
I KNOW, right? (Hearing my Mom say “vibrator” only added to the confusion explosion in my brain.)
“Come look!” my mom giggled.
“Mom, I don’t wanna see THAT!”
We said goodbye and I finished up at work. As I left, I simply couldn’t resist taking a look to see what was what.
Ready for this?
Confident it was innocuous, I walked over for closer inspection.
My Mom’s “vibrator” was none other than….
A broom handle.
I promptly walked back inside to place the alleged sex toy on her chair, where it would be there to greet her in the morning.
I giggled about it most of the night.
“My Mom sees
dead people vibrators.”
Despite my pleas, she refused to pose with the *ahem* broom handle today. So I did the obvious.
I photo bombed her. Then posted it on the internet. In true ridiculous fashion.
Seriously, between this Valentine’s Day and last Valentine’s Day….I’m not sure what to think anymore, Mom.
I feel dirty now. I’m going to wash my hands. Sorry for this atypical topic but heck…you get what you get when you come round these parts.
- So, what would you have thought upon first glimpse of this unidentifiable object lying in front of an office building?
*It must be said my mom has macular degeneration so her eyesight is not the best but…..I still think she has a dirty birdy mind.
PS- Mom, Go to Church!