My Funny Valentine

Warning: The following material contains lascivious discourse. Reader discretion advised.

Wanna hear a funny story? Well … it’s funny to me. Had me giggling quite a bit yesterday … I feel the need to document the event.

Yesterday evening my mother walked out of the office and quickly came back inside.

“Liss, come here for a sec,” she said in a hushed voice. “Come look at this.”

Usually this happens when there’s a nest of baby ducklings outside or a pretty flower. It was quitting time and I was in a “wrap things up” mood so I whined “What? Just tell me?”

“I think someone left a vibrator outside your window.”

** I’m offering a brief pause so you can let that settle**

I KNOW, right? (Hearing my Mom say “vibrator” only added to the confusion explosion in my brain.)

“Whaaa???”

“Come look!”  my mom giggled.

“Mom, I don’t wanna see THAT!”

We said goodbye and I finished up at work. As I left, I simply couldn’t resist taking a look to see what was what.

Ready for this?

   

   

Thoughts? Opinions?

Confident it was innocuous, I walked over for closer inspection.

Yup.

My Mom’s “vibrator” was none other than….

 

A broom handle.

I promptly walked back inside to place the alleged sex toy on her chair, where it would be there to greet her in the morning.

I giggled about it most of the night.

“My Mom sees dead people vibrators.”

Despite my pleas, she refused to pose with the *ahem* broom handle today.  So I did the obvious.

I photo bombed her. Then posted it on the internet. In true ridiculous fashion.

Seriously, between this Valentine’s Day and last Valentine’s Day….I’m not sure what to think anymore, Mom.

Remember this?

I feel dirty now. I’m going to wash my hands. Sorry for this atypical topic but heck…you get what you get when you come round these parts.

• So, what would you have thought upon first glimpse of this unidentifiable object lying in front of an office building?

*It must be said my mom has macular degeneration so her eyesight is not the best but…..I still think she has a dirty birdy mind.

PS- Mom, Go to Church!

 

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Sunday I’m in Love

I’ll let The Cure have Fridays.

It’s Sunday and lately I’ve been loving:

This heart-shaped shroom.

 

See it? Just in time for Valentine’s day.

  

And while I have them out, I love my markers.

Say “Hello” to my little friends…

Slowly (VERY slowly) but surely getting my Ashtanga practice back.

Listening to Rumer.

I heard about her last week on CBS Sunday Morning and I’ve been listening all week.

She’s incredible on all levels. See for yourself. (If you want)

Can we keep this between us friends? I don’t want to grow tired after hearing her EVERYWHERE. #IlovedAdelebeforeshewascool.

I LOVE Spotify. It’s gonna be huge. I’d buy stock now if I were you.

*If you listen to music on your computer, PLEASE tell me you’ve invested in a good pair of speakers.

I love the clovers outside my building:

They may not be four-leaved, but they look like a cluster of three cute little hearts.

• What are you loving lately?

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TGYWT

Thank God Yesterday Was Thursday.

Or, TGYWT! <—with necessary exclamation point.

I don’t use the phrase “Thank God” casually. Yesterday was rough. I sucked at yesterday.
Today I’m grateful for a Lord who makes all things new and who gives us the gift of the present day. Shouts out are in high order.

So, TGYWT. When life hands you letters, gather your thoughts and make a list of randomness I say!

 

 

Tofutti Better than Cream Cheese

I go through food crazes and lately I’m cuckoo for not-cream cheese.

 

I use it to dip chips, crackers, veggies, and fruit. I put it in wraps, with eggs, with “crabmeat” (<– I had a craving. I went with it. Sugar, starches, artificials and all. )

I even spread it on my pickles. (What? You knew that was coming.)

I will not, however, attempt to eat it with kimchi.

Or will I? muahahahaha.

Grey’s Anatomy

Last nights episode anyone? A women loses her long-term boyfriend after a tragic accident. Their final time together was not the best and they never got the opportunity to kiss and make-up.

Anyways….When Lexi opens the locket? Yeah. I almost lost it.

Also…how beautiful is Chyler Leigh? I like her name.

 

 

You need a giggle. I decided.

 

Wanna see a picture of baby me? 

I KNOW…right? Fatty Boombalatty! I eventually lost the pudge, but the cheeks? They’re forever.

PS- That terrified looking kid on the left is Charles. We were inseparable until age 3 when he moved away…he sent me letters and cards until I was in middle school. I have a way with the boys.

 

 

Thank you for the feedback on my last post. I took it all in and relaxed a bit.  I am officially done thinking of “my blog” or whatever this thing is as anything more than a silly little place I write things down and share with friends.

I’m not a “blogger.”

I just have a silly little blog.

Imma get back to doing what I do, how I do, the way I do.

• I want your randoms!!! <—whoa. Where did those come from?

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Where I’m at….Blogwise

I left a comment on Sophia’s post “How Blogging Helped My Eating Disorder” I’d like to share. It sums up how I’ve been feeling about writing here.

Befuddled.

(I’m leaving all my typos, spelling and grammar atrocities because that’s my commenting style. My fingers are fat, I chicken peck the keyboard. #owningit.)

I have a blog …. but for me it’s just like a little scrapbook hobby.
It’s just “my blog” not my “recovery blog” and I happen to struggle in recovery so yeah, so writing about food, eating disorders, body image…etc…is gonna pop up because that’s a big part of my life.

All in all, I think my blog has helped my efforts in recovery. Writing is a powerful tool, and the comments and feedback I receive are PRICELESS. Seriously. I think since I am so open nobody feels the need to blow smoke up my bum….I have a very open mind and welcome everyone’s opinion and feedback. I don’t always manage to listen though.

On that note — I DO NOT think my blog is “helping” or capable of “helping” others, though some say my writing “inspires them” or makes them think and stuff. They relate. And I write for me, at the end of the day. Not really for an “audience”

YET — I have been thinking…..is there a responsibility that comes with blogging? Can you actually be harmful? I’ve learned a lot about blogging that I was naive about in the past 3 months.

Lately I worry that I just make people worry about me. That makes me just want to disappear.
But I can’t. Cause then ED would win. And really only 7 people read my blog. Most of them are my family and RL friends. LOL.

But that’s the big clincher for me……no whether blogging can help or harm the individual…..but does the individual have the capacity to unwittingly harm others ?

(If you want). I miss my hobby. I’m not sweating over it or anything because it’s just my little blog and is really a miniscule part of my life.

Yet, I haven’t settled on how I feel about this.

I’d like your opinion. (is anyone reading this?)

• Has a blog ever negatively impacted you or disturbed you?

 

• Is my blog harmful, because I am not recovered and still struggling?

• Do we have a responsibility? I DO NOT take my blog seriously, try to get traffic or promote my blog. I don’t present myself to be anything other than just me. It’s just my stupid blog! BUT…if it can harm even one person than….

• I freaking LOATHE the word/idea of…the word that rhymes with “friggers.” I don’t understand how my blog/writing can inspire anyone to do damage to themselves. Perhaps someone reading may disagree? I’d like to hear your input.

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