That wall you keep hitting?
You know. The one that lands you flat on your razzmattazz?
It may be the door.
Question is: Are you BOLD enough to find the doorknob?
Do you TRUST enough?
Do you have FAITH enough?
I believe if we can muster up the trust and the faith….the strength and the courage WILL come.
And freedom is ours.
- Thank you so much for your words of encouragement left after my last post and as always. From the bottom of my heart. Love!!! Pure love.
- More importantly…do you have “a wall” that you are quite familiar with? One that you hit time and time again? What if it was a door? I know. Still scary.
Keep on keeping on.
Open it!!
I kind of hate you for being in shorts and flops right now. Its FREEZING outside.
I see you are reading Jen Lancaster….she’s great, isn’t she?
i am stopped in my tracks when i deviate from my perfectly planned schedule, when i don’t accomplish before 9am what most people accomplish all day. it’s tiring, and i learn to let go a little more, each day. but when that wall strikes, i’m in a coma. i’ll think of your door analogy next time, trying to turn the knob. glad that you exited from this very difficult weekend with love and peace. hugs from a puggle in pennsylvania. x
I have both trust and faith in life, which is why I have opened up the door and embraced recovery.
I am proud of you getting closer to the door as well, Missy. But I need to say something. You might hate for it, but I can not be your friend and not say this.
You need to change now Melissa.
Otherwise I fear an too early death. I have been so blessed to know you for a long time now, and I’ve felt your potential, your strength all throughout that time. I want to see you healthy, but at times we need more help than we are willing to accept. ED can take such a hard grip on us, preventing our inner light to guide the way to life again.
You can do this. It will hurt like hell, but it is possible. Open the door, reach out and get the help you deserve.
Love you.
Great Post
I don’t really know you, but I’ve read your writings & I can tell you are very brave and courageous, you just have to open the door and let yourself be free from whatever holding you back
I will join Hedda. You are very talented. You have a gift for writing. You can easily develop that into a lovely passion. Feel special because of that.
In the summer 2010 my body looked like yours today, I think. My BMI was 15 (I have later come to know) and I felt gorgeous. Well, a part of me. The other part didn’t. I was scared of putting my life in danger, had pains in the chest area – caused by anxiety, couldn’t wear any tight clothes – they just hurt on me, saw my husband look at me differently – with less admiration and desire, I had cramps, tingling in the arms and legs. I knew I wasn’t doing what a woman in her thirties should have been. Eating as much as my body needed to function properly. I started recovery only because my husband asked me to. I hated it at the beginning. I felt like I was undoing my good work. But I kept on, going high and low. Crying a lot. Sulking some and smiling a little. More and more as times goes by. Until I cry a bit again.
Missy, my husband was my wake up call. What is yours? When we are in our thirties our bodies are even less resistant than in the teens or twenties. This is what a good friend told me, and I hated to hear it. But she is so right. In my case only pressure from a loved one helped to really take action. I hated it, but it worked. Slowly but gradually. I challenge you to take action, get to a more heavier, thus healthier (and physically safer) place, and see how much better it can feel! How much you can actually do things that matter really, like writing or reaching out to others for great conversations.
Once again, I do not want to offend you or hurt you, nor underestimate you struggles! But at some point, like Hedda said, “You need to change now Melissa”. And we both know because we have really been there!
Hugs from France.
Thanks so much for your words –It’s good to hear from you. You know I take every word seriously.
Funny thing is — when I see pictures of you on your blog, I assume you are much thinner than I am.
Appearances and comparing don’t mean much to me, but sometimes I wonder if I really, truly…can’t see what others see? It’s scary to think I may be that delusional.
On one of my last posts you said you’d love to be someone’s hero… Well you’re mine! You fight your fight daily and help others at the same time. Totally hero status
Oh boy, Joy.
I could try harder and fight harder for sure.
But knowing I might be a little more heroic if I did is inspiring.
XXXXX
Just wanted to give you a hug!
I LOVE this! I have never thought of it this way, but this is oh so true! Struggles truly are the way we move into other, better things
Have a great Monday!
Scott
Amazing post!
So few words.
So much meaning!
I always appreciate your wisdom Missy. You can simplify even the most of complicated things.
Thank you.
Yeah, it’s simple.
And..yeah, it’s hard as all get out.
It ain’t easy.
My doorknob is pink.
I LOVE the idea of finding the door knob! I definitely have hit the same wall repeatedly. Each time I’ve tried recovery I get to a place where my memories of abuse become overwhelmingly vivid. I have never worked through them before and honestly don’t really want to. I think I am hitting this wall again now and am trying my hardest to keep pushing past it. You never know what awaits you on the other side, right??
You CAN do this, Missy. You are incredible. When I called you on the phone you were so sweet, understanding, smart, and rational about what I needed to do and how I needed to put my crisis into perspective. I wish you could see yourself with this compassion and clarity. Everything that you advised me about it true for you too, 100% true! You don’t deserve this. Each slip is a chance to learn some more about your eating disorder and regain your footing. Is is never EVER too late. Fight this my dear, you CAN do it. You have my number
xxx
Please, Missy, walk through that door. I worry so much about you. You are always in my prayers.
{{{Hugs}}}