I’m off-track and a lot lost so I’m trying my best to seek God with all my heart.
He’s answering.
My daily devotional compiled 7 God-given truths that define the way we should navigate our lives.
Jesus can be like a GPS…His directives are just more subtle.
I’m incredibly struck by these 7 simple truths and want to share them, along with what they mean to me right now.
Each one has numerous interpretations, applications and relevancy for everyone – no matter what your spiritual belief.
Love God more than you fear hell.
Fear traps me. I’m terrified of weight gain, the flesh accumulating around my bones. Being in my skin is hellish. But I need to go through it. I need to love god more than I fear the discomfort.
Make major decisions in a cemetery.
Life is short. After my brother died I thought for sure I’d get my act together. I want to make him proud. I don’t want my parents to bury another child. Yet here I am. Still.
When no one is watching, live as if someone is.
If you’re doing something secretively, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. I’d be humiliated if anyone were to witness my behavior sometimes. I’m ashamed just thinking about what I ate for lunch yesterday. Shame is making me sick.
Succeed at home first.
I need to fix what’s broken in my own heart and soul (my home) before I can correct other areas of my life (career, relationships…) or help other people.
Don’t spend tomorrow’s money today.
I’ve got wild issues with money and compulsive spending but beyond that, I need to adopt this attitude in many aspects of life. I often eat as if I’ll never eat again or feel I have to exercise x amount every day. I stay up too late. Save some for later, girl!
Pray twice as much as you fret.
I waste SO much time ruminating about food, my body, my issues…these are all moments when I could be fixating on God.
God has forgiven you; you’d be wise to do the same.
No explanation necessary.
Do any of these strike you as a personal directive? Why?
PS- Thanks SO much for your kind words of encouragement, compassion and advice on my last post. So helpful. #therearenowords.
i heard a passage from joyce meyer who said, say to God that youlove him every day, all day, and that love with grow and you will feel is presence. But we must continue to love God and seek him.
I am doing just that. And its harder than it seems but worth that closeness and to finally feel like God’s got the Garmin, not me!
xxoo
I hope that you are able to navigate the way that you believe will get you to where you want to be. The “pray more than you fret” resonates with me. There is always somewhere to GO when we go to prayer. As well as, “succeed at home first”. Listening to ourselves (our true selves) means that we may need to hit the mute button on other distractions. For me, I am with me when the silence is deafening and I a become more attuned to what I need for my spirit.
Also; be kind and generously patient with yourself AND reach out to those around you for support. It’s okay to allow others to help you when you are feeling yourself unsure, questioning the direction you are headed, or when you absolutely KNOW you are falling.
Thank you for sharing. I like the visual additions, especially the Robert De Niro one. Oh and the Snoop GPS is funny and laid back.
Be well.
The one about spending tomorrow’s money… So true. In trying to stop purging, I’ve swung over to b/p-ing with money… strange, but it is what it is. I need to do this.
Actually many times people with EDs swap compulsions and shopping is quite frequently a turn-to.
And yes, it is what it is. (0:
This is beautiful and honest. Thank you so much for sharing this, it’s something I needed to hear – and I know a lot of other people as well. We can start to heal and find comfort in these things – and they ARE keys to our recovery and finding our lives again.
*hugs* and wishing you strength today
Great post,Missy!
Turning to God is always the right idea
Sometimes you shock me with your insightfulness. I know that’s not a word, but it is you. You have such a HUGE heart and it shows in everything you write, every photo you post, and even in the silliness, that is why I love you!
I love that Churchill quotation. I need to post that on my wall. My literal wall, not my facebook wall.
I say this because I care deeply about you Missy :
You need to seek help. Now. There is no weakness in that, only strength. With a good support team you’ll be able to live the life you deserve. Not one in a restricted prison.
Please. Value yourself and life enough to reach out for help.
<3
I don’t have the money for extensive treatment but it is seriously something to save for.
I LOVE that magnet. That is totally where I’m living right now.
And . . . God can for YOU! I believe that with all my heart, lovely woman. <3
I really agree with the one about not doing anything in secret. It’s not that I ever do anything illegal, but sometimes I think my thoughts are only my own, when really, God is watching and listening. Someone is always there, whether I realize it or not!
Thanks for the birthday wish, BTW
beautiful girl – my heart goes out to you. this is similar to where i was a christmas of ’09… miserable, scared, and frustrated. i wanted to die. God changed my heart, but i had to want it more than anything. i had to be willing to give up everything and say “ok Lord, i’m gonna try this your way.” i had to YIELD myself, to let Him be Lord. literally – LORD: ruler of my life. of EVERYTHING in my life. it was so, so, so hard, and absolutely terrifying, but i can tell you straight up – there is NO hope in anything else other than Jesus Christ. you cannot have purpose without Him being LORD.
i love you so much girl. i am praying for you like crazy. facebook message me if you want to text, i’ll give you my digits in a heartbeat. i would love nothing more than to encourage you some! also, check out gty.org – John MacArthur is one of my favorite pastors and he has all his amazing sermons online for free. also, check out Francis Chan’s book Crazy Love. it will change your life! also, his sermons on youtube. and a friend of mine is a therapist who works with EDs, and had/has one herself… she would love to do anytihng she can.
anything you need? i would LOVE to help. seriously. you want company, i will drop everything and drive out to you. you can do this girl.. your life is meant to be a celebration of God’s glory… think about that. is it a celebration today?
-r
Wow. I am so touched.
I have been wanting to Read Crazy Love for a year.
My library doesn’t carry it. I will check out the sermons online!
hey girl hey, i know i don’t know you, but i have a copy of crazy love i am totally done with and probably won’t reread. i promise i’m not total sketch, but if you send me your address i can mail it to you, i love to pass books along!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Awesome Blossom.
emaIl me yo address!
i also have an extra copy i’d be glad to send you. actually, come to think of it, i have a bunch of books that God’s used to get me out ot the Hell-hole i used to call “life.” continually reading, in combination with a really great pastor who helped me discover the bible, has finally given me… hope.
i love you girl. seriously. i pray for you every time i see you pop up on facebook. i’m fighting for you.
ps – it was a profound moment in my life where i realized if i fought each detrimental thought with a God-thought, or a quoted verse, or a devotion, or a sermon, my life would be DRASTICALLY different. how can we expect to get through anything in life without… effort? i don’t mean we aren’t trying! i mean really… how much time do we pursue God’s truth? what does the ratio of depressing thoughts to TRUTH look like in my life? i realized no amount of wishing and hoping was going to change my situation – only ACTION. even though i didn;t want to read the bible or go to church or anything else, i did it out of obedience and desperation, because the only alternative was for me to continue to struggle with defeat and depression until the day i died… or killed myself.
my point? don’t think about change. don’t write about it. please, take action. fill your aching heart with the love that only comes from Jesus. you can’t fill it with anything else.
I absolutely love the message Missy <3 I especially love the one that "if you are in hell, keep walking" because it SO describes where we are a lot of time. If we just stop and wonder why, we will never get out. I need to keep on moving, and never look back.
You are wonderful love, this is exactly what I needed this morning <3
Stay strong and have a wonderful day!
Scott
Great message love. Keep going, and have great day!
p.s the snoop dog gps video is hilarious.
So fly.
This is wonderful, Missy. I agree with Hedda, though. I think acknowledging where you’re at and that you’re not doing so well is the first step (and an AMAZING one at that!). But you must reach out now. Assemble some kind of team…even if it’s just a therapist or just a nutritionist. You don’t have to find every aspect of it at once, but just a start. You deserve that, Missy. You deserve it SO much.
I don’t share the same beliefs as you but I can’t imagine that the God you talk about would want you to only need him for support and strength during this. You don’t have to see your struggle as an issue with your faith in God. It is a struggle and if you sought them out, I bet you’d find that God will place people (like a treatment team) in your life to help you.
You CAN do this, Missy. Just take the step and find support for yourself. It WILL be okay!
xxx
I will try but it has to be free.
Dear, I understand that the financial aspect of recovery is a big challenge.
Would it be an alternative to ask your parents for financial support?
<3
Bless you lots your beautiful, wonderful person!
I love Max Lucado, I had no idea he had Daily Emails!
I think I should pray more than I fret. I fret a lot. I believe when
I feel overwhelmed I need to turn it over to GOD. I cannot accomplish what I would like to without him. I also think it is important to think of others. Instead of fretting I will try to pray. For things I need and the needs of others, including your recovery.
Thanks for the prayers.
Yeah it so easy to get sucked into fretting and ruminating…It’s more than a hoover…,it’s a Dyson!
PS- He does have daily emails but I also have the book grace for the moment. I like book devotionals best.
Missy, you will always be in my prayers. Many people are praying for you– that in itself is God’s way of expressing His love for you. Please don’t ever feel guilty or ashamed in turning back to God. Remember the parable of the prodigy son. God just wants you back, He just wants you happy and to enjoy his blessings.
In between struggles and failures and weaknesses, seek him out, Missy. He is always and forever there in you to guide you and help you through this. Love for God doesn’t come from forcing it on yourself. It has to come through time, it has to come through experience, it has to come through acknowledging and accepting his love for you as well.
God doesn’t ever let you go through pain without purpose. Please know that even in this suffering there is blessing. There is joy. And there is always hope.
Thank you so much, you really have a way of reaching me.
This is one of my favorite of all of your posts. I love these 7 things, and the way you related your life/thoughts to them. I’m proud of you for being so honest with yourself and with us. I know you can find the strength (through HIM!!) to get to a healthy, happy place. I know you can.
Hey Missy! I just found your blog through Katies and I’m so glad I did…What an incredible journey it looks like you’ve been on with the Lord! It always is when we let Him lead! I loved these 7 points…I actually believe God led me here for just this time in my life! Keep letting your light shine girl!
~ Katie
Missy,
I’m so sorry your off track and am going to pray hard for you to find that track again
I would say of all those the one that hits me is god has forgiven you you’d be wise to do the same – I am forever angry with me for something