Brass(ica) Monkey Salad

July 9, 2011 by missymiller

I’m crazy about Brassica.

“Readers who came here for fun not for fancy-word learning say WHAT?”

Brassica is the family of vegetables us common folk refer to as “greens.” Spinach, Kale, Collards, Brussels, Broccoli…etc. It’s one big happy family of nutritional powerhouses and I can’t get enough.

I love ‘em like a fat kid loves cake.*

*Raise your hand if you think I’m hilarious.

I’m a bit of a BRASSica Monkey.

Beastie Boys anyone? (Click here for the soundtrack to this recipe.)

Brassica Monkey Salad

Vegan, Gluten-Free, Sugar-Free, FDA approved, Dentist Recommended

Basically, this is a massaged Kale salad with cannellini beans, tomato, onion and steamed broccoli. But I gave it a name. That makes it mine.

First you have to massage your Kale (<—-it helps to say this in a seductive voice.) Tear the Kale into bite size pieces (no stems). Add dressing and sea salt and *seductive voice* Massage.

I used this dressing:

I LOVE this stuff. Check out the ingredients.

Can you spot the Brassica?

I also used nutreast.

When your done working the Kale, let it Chill in the fridge for a while.

Rinse, drain and dry your beans. Steam your broccoli. Chop your onion and tomato. Then…make a salad!

This salad has fats, carbs and protein. For a heartier meal, add grain or pasta and tofu, fish or veggie burger. Quinoa would be an excellent addition; adding protein and carbs in one fell swoop.

By the way, if you eat Brassica Monkey Salad here’s how ya feel:

“You put your left leg down, your right leg up”

Tilt your head back

and finish it up!”

That Funky Monkey.

What’s your favorite salad combo?
Have you ever *voice* massaged your Kale? Have you gone all the way with it and made *gasp* Kale chips?

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Posted in Cheap Thrills and Silliness, Recipes, Things I Ate along the Way | Tagged Brassica, I dwell in niether Brooklyn nor castle, Nutreast not Nooch join the movement, recipe, Yum | 26 Comments

26 Responses

on July 9, 2011 at 6:10 pm | Reply The Senses

Brass monkey, that funky monkey….(That entire album was so top back in the day. Fresh even all these years later!)

The salad looks good. Especially with contrast of colors.

Salad combos are so fun, but my favorite is to do a cold/hot combo. Cold bed of lettuces/cabbage/tomato/celery/garbanzos holding a stir fry of mushrooms/carrots/peppers/hot peppers. And then having shredded veggie or vegan cheese on top of that followed with Ginger Sesame dressing.

Love your humor.
- on July 9, 2011 at 11:56 pm | Reply missymiller
  
  LOve the hot on cold. I really must blanch some veggies before putting them in salad. The steamed Broc took care of that for me today.
on July 9, 2011 at 7:03 pm | Reply Scarlett

Any recipe involving the words “monkey”, “massage”, and “nutreast” is an automatic winner.

My favorite salads …I don’t even know where to start! Probably mixed greens base, with sauteed zucchini and mushrooms, red peppers, egg whites, cucumbers, broccoli, maybe some feta or parm, scallions, sauteed asparagus, garlic-italian dressing…mmm.
- on July 9, 2011 at 11:55 pm | Reply missymiller
  
  I’ll have what she’s having. YUM!!
on July 9, 2011 at 8:35 pm | Reply Katie

I forgot all about nutreast. Not the stuff, but the word. I’m thinking about that scene in So I Married an Axe Murderer where he is massaging the meat in the butcher shop. HI-larious.

Favorite salad combo? Are you kidding me? Anything and everything with lots of veggies is me all the way.
- on July 9, 2011 at 11:54 pm | Reply missymiller
  
  I love that movie. Love it. It’s like Sputnik!
on July 9, 2011 at 8:38 pm | Reply Amanda @ Running with Spoons

Haha, girl, I just love you. Unfortunately, I don’t love kale. I’ve had some bad experiences with it in the past and just kind of wrote it off as being hopeless. I do love my greens though, and the day isn’t complete unless a salad beast is involved. My salad combos are pretty basic… spinach, baby greens, tomatoes, cukes, bell peppers, and mushrooms are always the base, then I sometimes add beans, fruit, or avocado if I’m feeling feisty. Other than that, I need to have a good yogurt based dressing, which I usually just make at home.
- on July 9, 2011 at 11:54 pm | Reply missymiller
  
  I really need to venture into the fruit on salad thing.
  I love them but never think to make them!
  - on July 10, 2011 at 12:32 am | Reply rachel
    
    strawberries on spinach salad!! yes and yes!
    - on July 10, 2011 at 3:40 pm | Reply missymiller
      
      Rach?
      Where is the love girl?
      Can you call me when you have time?
      My nephew is in town ,,,,can you say play date?
on July 10, 2011 at 1:32 am | Reply allieksmith

Kale chips are the bomb!! I love massaging my kale hahahaha
on July 10, 2011 at 6:36 am | Reply solskinn88

You are so awesome
Keep smiling and monkey’ing your way through life my dear, and know that you make other people feel happy and good inside. Missy the human sunshine!

I have never even tried kale and I am not quite sure what it is. Haha! That is how it is to live in Norway, we’re a bit lost when it comes to fance food.
To be honest, Ima not very much of a salad eater. But if I have to eat salad, it has to have a lot of grains and proteins and fats in it to make me satisfied. A nice bread on the side doesn’t hurt either And yes, now we are moving quite close to eating salad as a side and a hearty main meal, haha!

Hope you are doing better, Missy. Know that you can allways contact me if you need extra support or just someone to listen to your inner struggles.
I am here and we’ll get through this.

<3
on July 10, 2011 at 1:23 pm | Reply Scott

you are hilarious! And this salad looks great!

And yes, I must admit, I have gone all the way with kale and made…. kale chips

Hope today is a wonderful day!
on July 10, 2011 at 3:22 pm | Reply daisychain

Oh goodness, you always make me crave the most random things. I never thought I’d experience an URGE to go buy some greens.
on July 10, 2011 at 4:06 pm | Reply Sarah

This looks so yummy! I’m glad to see some protein on there with your beans and I think your other ideas for adding protein are great.
I’ve never tried Kale before . It’s really strange on my meal plan, I have a certain number of vegetables that I need each day and I’ve discovered they never are quite enough to make a big salad. Everything else you could think of fits into my meal plan but the salad thing is HARD to figure out! Something to ask my nutritionist about this week…:)
I’m proud of you, Missy!
- on July 10, 2011 at 4:25 pm | Reply missymiller
  
  That’s why I Hate meal plans.
  Just Eat a dang salad, Sarah! Do it!
  I hope you know me well enough to know this is not mean.
  I am being a nice bully (0:
on July 11, 2011 at 3:18 am | Reply Haley @All Or Nothing

You are too cute
I’ve been wanting to try ‘nutreast’ for quite some time now haha
I love banana peppers in my salad and mushrooms and bell peppers and cucumber, etc.. i could go on and on!
I’ve only had kale once & I’ve never made the chips! On my to-do list ha!
<3 Haley
on July 11, 2011 at 4:33 am | Reply imaginenamaste

Haha I love your salad dance creation of fun
on July 11, 2011 at 2:35 pm | Reply Susu Paris Chic

I love palm tree hearts. Have you ever tried? I discovered them here in Paris. Otherwise I am quite a tradi with my salads – feta, cucumber (my absolute love of life), iceberg and tomatoes. Also toss in chicken, turkey or salmon… tuna no longer. Did too much;)
on July 11, 2011 at 5:48 pm | Reply Christine @ Merf In Progress

nooooch. Don’t try to avoid it!

I’ve never massaged kale. Need to get on that bandwagon.
- on July 11, 2011 at 5:57 pm | Reply missymiller
  
  Nuuuuuutreeeeaaaaast. (0:
on July 12, 2011 at 2:32 am | Reply Tiptoe

I’ve never been a big kale eater at all, but a few weeks ago, I had Indian kale. Basically, it was dried kale with Indian spices. It was surprisingly good!
- on July 12, 2011 at 1:00 pm | Reply missymiller
  
  Kind of like Kale chips!
on July 13, 2011 at 2:53 pm | Reply Joy

I’ve never even tried kale I’m a wuss!
on July 13, 2011 at 5:23 pm | Reply A.S.

OMG you look soooooooo thin are you okay? you are clearly SEVERELYYYY underweight!!!!!
- on July 13, 2011 at 8:00 pm | Reply missymiller
  
  I’m Ok. My weight is up. (0:
  The pics must be distorted.