I’ve proselytized “living mindfully in the present” for most of my life. I’m not alone. The popular sentiment in our culture (though sadly not the reality) is to savor each moment of the “here and now.” The present is a gift. Yadda, Yadda.
There’s no dearth of reminders to live in the present. It’s a good message.
But I need to move past this. For me, living in the moment prevents me from living “wisely and earnestly.”
I need to be thinking about tomorrow.
I need to be living for tomorrow.
It’s Widdershins. It’s wack birds. Let me explain.
I’ve been living “in the moment” my entire life. It’s natural for me (“Look! A butterfly! Pretty! Yay Life!).
It’s also an occupational hazard of life with an eating disorder (like any addiction or affliction).
During both the dog days of disease and the heydays of recovery – the Modus Operandi has been constant: Just make it through the day.
Orchestrating my food on a daily basis has been difficult and consuming. Setting goals, working toward future dreams…basically living life to it’s full potential is entirely overwhelming. I can’t remember the last time I looked forward to ANYTHING but the end of the day.
I spend the majority of my time trying to make the present moment more bearable — often resorting to compulsive measures. Then I feel like crap the next day. Still stuck.
So I decided to stick it to stuckness. I stuck stickies around to help me think of tomorrow.
They help me live healthier days by reminding me to live for tomorrow:
- I can start a diet tomorrow (but I probably won’t want to).
- Did I overeat? I’ll feel better tomorrow.
- Do I want to purge? No, I’ll feel like crap tomorrow.
They also inspire me to think about my future – a healthy future.
- Tomorrow I can start to work on a career.
- I will feel well enough to socialize tomorrow.
- I saved money today so I will have it tomorrow.
After all, I’m not getting any younger.
So, where YOU at?
Do you need to work on living more mindfully in the here and now, or do you need to step it up and start thinking of today’s repercussions?
will you really feel well enough to socialize tomorrow? i will if you will!
I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday. I’m freaking out being at home… I will be prepared to go back to school, but I cannot spend all summer waiting to leave. Honestly at the moment I’m sort of at “Tomorrow I’ll live in the present.” Hah.
You’ve taught me a new word: widdershins.
Tomorrow never comes.
This is what I tell myself when I put off doing something.
It’s true. Cause tomorrow will just be today.
Oh, man. I need top lay down.
That’s a great way to look at it.
I definitely need to think of repercussions. I think my “addiction” is shopping. When I want to buy something, I really need to think about whether I’ll appreciate having it tomorrow. (Or more likely, in a month)
Love that! Just walk away and tell yourself if you still want it you could come back tomorrow.
great mentality! I definitely do the “I can purge tomorrow” thing…doesn’t always work, but it helps.
Gosh, I’ve been thinking very similar things recently. My goals have been “to get through the day with a minimal amount of damage done”, (although I often settle for making the present moment more bearable). Any other kind of hopes just don’t figure in the equation. I’m squashing any other dreams as impossible before I even voice them to myself.
Whilst trying not to damage myself each day is a necessary goal, there’s not much enjoyment or sense of achievement. It’s just a monotonous daily struggle. Having things to look forward to are so important… (but I can’t think what I would want to do?).
I think you’ve come up with some really great ideas here and I’m sending all my best wishes as you look towards a healthy future.
Lots of love, x x x
Good thoughts here Missy. It’s kind of like I was saying in what I wrote recently about simply showing up. If it’s showing up in the moment now, that can eventually lead me to the next, that may then help build a stronger foundation for the future, being mindful of as many aspects without overlooking how each is important.
I’m definitely in a space where I am almost held in suspension. Wanting to move forward from the places that have been familiar (and consuming) and yet knowing I need to accept the past, present (especially) so I can get to that next. I have a lot of work to do on this, and hope to swing towards an overall healthier space.
I ramble. (Geesh!)
Thanks for the share and I don’t think your photo edits are lamo by the way!
I’m a “Here And Now” girl, hence the name of my blog;-) I tend to get stuck in painful memories of the past instead of living in the moment. I think it is great that you have realized that at this point in your life, you need to live for tomorrow. We all need to figure out what works best for us. I’m wishing you all the best. Take care, and sending {{{HUGS}}}
living in the present is so difficult if we are striving for the future or dwelling on the past. I love the concept of live for tomorrow by EMBRACING today. Its progressive. I can do that.
Missy
You are brilliant… I like the idea of tomorrow
Nice post – thanks!
This is so true. I need to look ahead and remember what I am working toward, not just focus on what I think I need right now. I love your blog:)
Well, I’m torn. As a Historian, I think looking to the past is hugely important. As someone who has not yet found her way into the life she wants to live, I am always looking to the future. And in the most difficult times of my life, like you, I only got by by just making it through the day and hoping that tomorrow would be better… But the “experts” say we should live for now… well, why can’t there be more than one answer to this, depending on what one’s current sitch is all about?
Exactly.
More than one way to skin the cat. For me? Living in the now is a way of avoidance. For example, I MUST go work out today because my LIFE depends on it and if I don’t I will be miserable so that means I can skip a social function. OR I must skip a meal now because I feel fat — which sets me up to binge later and being so full is a miserable thing. I must stay up past my bedtime because that is what I want NOW and the next day I am tired.
This is cool and something I need to focus on as well. Far too often I get so caught up doing what feels right “now ” ane it ends up having very unhappy future consequences – this was a great, thought provocing post Missy
You always have such a different perspective on life- I like the way you look at things
I live in between today and tomorrow
Live for tomorrow is an interesting concept…but I also think a major thing should be living for Today. Living in the moment helps me, at least, appreciate each second for the beauty that it is!
I know. I guess for me I don’t need to work on that too much … but I tend to really avoid thinking about serious things. Like saving for retirement. Instead I’ll pay $4 for a Kombucha….because that is what I want NOW and I’m barely living paycheck to paycheck. (0:
Although I can see how living for tomorrow can help get you out of a rut… interesting…thing to ponder..
I like your new motto… and the idea of the sticky notes here and there. I think an ED makes it really easy to forget about ‘tomorrow’ whereas others out there seem to forget to live in the present (hence the barrage of sayings reminding people to enjoy the present). I think the only way that I was able to give up purging (several years ago now) was to think of the future and how great it was going to be — well, that and I slept a LOT. But, anyway, I love your outlook — to enjoy the present and use it to create a better tomorrow.
Yes, binging and purging is ALL abourt immediate gratification and living so incredibly in the moment (ironic because you go numb) that nothing else matters.
Starving is the same way…it’s just you are too tired to worry.
I think you said it best with, “living in the moment prevents me from living “wisely and earnestly.” – so good for you for realizing that and doing what’s best for YOU to live the healthiest way possible. I try to live in the present, but I also have fun plans for the future. And I know I need to make the most of everyday in order to fulfill my dreams!
you bring up a great point. I feel like I really need to work on this as well. I think it is SUPER important to have long term goals, but for me it is all too easy to get anxious about this, and just freeze because I don’t know what to do next. I will work on it though
I think anyone with an eating disorder needs to think about tomorrow and the effects of her/his ED. We need to realize that what we do today can have long-term repercussions. That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy today and each moment, though. Just being mindful of staying healthy for tomorrow is important.
Exactly!!
You said it so much better.
When the Buddha states to live in the “present” wisely, he does not mean live in the present constantly, not thinking about the future or reflecting about the past. Psychologically, it is impossible to live only in the present moment. He means to live consistently in the present moment, not drifting away from it excessively, as most are prone to do. Mentally, it takes exceptional practice to live in the present moment, as it becomes a habit to think about the past or worry about the future (neuronal connections associated with anxiety are strengthened over time). One way to discipline the mind to keep in the present moment consistently — allowing for future planning as well as reflective insights — is by meditation, which shrinks the center of the brain associated with fear and anxiety (the amygdala). Even during meditation, if you get good at it, you can briefly reflect on the past or plan for the future with more clarity of mind. What the Buddha is preaching is the middle path.