I’ve written before about my friend David here and here.
He’s awesome-sauce. (I know some magical people.)
He finally delivered on his promise to bring me his signature Kimchi:
Delicious! Briny, tart, spicy yet mellow. Don’t buy store-bought. It’s not even comparable to the real thing.
He gave me specific instructions to eat it with rice and nori. (David wants me to eat more rice). I said I would. I didn’t.
I don’t eat grains often… it’s complicated. I don’t believe grains are necessarily vital for the human body.* They taste good though!
*That’s just me, I know it’s a controversial statement. I hope no one cares what I think.
Next time I saw him he asked
“How do you like the Kimchi?”
“I LOVED it” I said – meaning it was GONE. In two days.
“Did you eat it with the rice?”
“Um…no…”
I guess he decided to take matters in his own hands.
On Monday he showed up with this:
What’s that you ask?
David surprised me with my own personal Korean lunch kit!
Hand-delivered straight to my office.
That’s Kimchi in the butter container. 
(Half gone by the time I clicked the pic)
Don’t be scared.
Please know what those are. Yum.
In the red container? David’s rice with beans.
How sweet is that? Again, he’s awesome-sauce.
By lunch time I was ready. Let’s do this.
You take the toasted nori, add some rice and kimchi and….
YUM. Double yum.
For dessert I had a slight breakdown a teachable moment.
I don’t share much of my insanity. In honor of NEDA week (I’m ALWAYS LATE) I thought, why not?
Skip this part if you want.
As I was finishing lunch I noticed my hands starting to shake. Why? Because I know David makes his rice with 1/3 brown long grain, 1/3 brown sticky and 1/3….white rice.
I take issue with white rice, but I wanted to eat the food he so lovingly prepared for me. So I did. Ten minutes later I FELT emotional and nervous. I was near tears. It was a physical feeling more than emotional or mental…I was detached from the anxiety but it gripped me nonetheless.
Can you see it in my eyes?
All I could think was “WHITE RICE WHITE RICE.”
Meanwhile people are starving,dying, suffering, fighting wars.
I was frustrated and mad at myself for being so wack. This weirdity hasn’t happened to me in a long time.
I’ve learned to separate myself from the insanity. It doesn’t make it go away.
I keep this card on my desk. Yesterday it struck a deep chord. Feelings and thoughts are just feelings and thoughts. They don’t make or break us.
I kept calm and carried on.
I eventually realized what was plaguing me – the loss of control. I never realized how dependent I am on controlling what I eat. I gave up controlling how much I eat — but I have to control what I eat.
Controlling your diet is healthy…but not when taken to the extreme.
I don’t believe I have to eat anything I don’t want to eat in order to recover. I’ll probably never eat white rice again (unless David brings me more). But it‘s important for me to be able to eat outside the lines without it causing anxiety and tears. IT’S JUST RICE!
RICE!
It was a teachable moment.
I got over it myself….
Because how magically awesome is David? You gotta smile.
- Ever try Kimchi?
- What are your thoughts on “controlling food.”
