F is for…
Full Disclosure. The information contained in this post may not be suitable for all audiences. Reader Discretion Advised.
F is for…
Food Baby, which I had for
Four Days. Four long days.
Fact. Food Babies during recovery are inevitable.
F is for…
Fatigue, because food pregnancy makes you tired, despite indicating a generous amount of…
Fuel.
Frustrating.
F is for…
Full. Feeling So. Very. Full. So uncomfortably full.
For Four Days.
F is for…
Fearing the worse.
F is for…
Fighting the temptation to let this ruin my days or restrict my eating and conducting myself like a
Frick-Fracking recovery warrior princess.
Fake it till you feel it.
F is for…
Friendly conversation at the gym, as I explained to a stranger why I could not run. “I think I’m too skinny.”
F is for…
“Fine” That’s what the friendly stranger said.
“You look fine to me! What do you weigh [insert my weight + 15 pounds here]?”
F is for…
Flawed Logic, which I obviously have because I readily agreed with him despite the opinions of many loved ones and the fact I have not menstruated in a decade.
Food Baby. Full. Four Days.
F is for…
Feeling.
Fat.
F is for…
F.
F is for…
Figuring out what you call the feeling you get when you feel fat, because fat is not a feeling.
and Failing. Once again.
F is for…
Finally reaching my breaking point yesterday. There is only so much I can handle.
Fully aware this might send me down a slippery slope I awoke on a mission: Operation Food Baby Domination!
F is for…
Finding every excuse, rationalization, and justification to eat less.
F is for…
Fooling myself into thinking this was not
Flirting with the enemy. That this was an option for me.
F is for…
Fantasyland.
My Favorite Place.
F is for…
Fantastic. Which would describe how I felt when my stomach began to growl with hunger. Too fantastic.
Frighteningly Fantastic. Seductively Fantastic.
F is for…
Forgetting about my ridiculous plans
and Fighting back.
F is for…
Feeding myself without restriction for the remainder of the day.
F is for…
Frick-Fracking Recovery Warrior Princess.
(Maybe I do have an inner princess after all.)
F is for…
Fun. Recovery from an eating disorder is no joke. It is painful, difficult, and complicated. But….sigh. If I can’t laugh in the middle of all this mess I will go insane.
I hope my light-heartedness is not taken the wrong way.
This post inspired by Sesame Street, Sara, and the Letter F.
You are so cute! Keep fighting because you are worth it.
But sweetie, please don’t listen to that stranger. You are SO far from fine. You are smart not to run. The fact is that you ARE too skinny.
It is pretty shocking to think anyone could say you are fine. You really do not look healthy, so please ignore it.
I know! I was thinking the same thing about the guys comment in my rational, Missy mind. But it was so funny how your ED will take ANY oportunity to twist anything into what it wants to hear when it feels vulnerable. And pregnant. hehehe.
I wish I had a cool blog that sent people emails to respond to them, but alas…hopefully you will see this and know that I appreciate your support. Because I can’t find your profile to respond via email or your blog if you have one.
~Missy
I loved this post Missy! I’m so proud of you for turning your plans to restrict around and doing what you know is right. There is never an okay time to restrict…ever. All restricting does is take us backwards, even if we think we will only engage in the behavior temporarily, it never turns out that way. I’m so glad you were able to see that and stop yourself.
Food babies suck! I have been sporting a rather fabulous one for a while now…but I’m hanging onto the promise that it will go away! If we keep nourishing our bodies than we will never have to deal with food babies again.
Keep pushing through Missy! You’re doing amazingly : )
Sarah
I love this post.
It is uplifting. You always write great posts and I look forward to them all of the time. Keep going!! Hugs.
I’m happy to have been able to inspire you in your post.
YOU are truly inspiring. I cannot even imagine what it is like to go through what you go through in your continual recovery.
I love this post, it’s so inspiring(: It highlights all the bad things of recovery, and good.
We just have to remember no matter how mad the ED gets when we eat more, we just have to keep on eating.
Take care, have a great thanksgiving(:
-Danielle
This is a very creative post, and I enjoyed reading it… and the frick-fracking recovery princess! Stay strong and keep doing what you know you need to do. There are so many wonderful things to live for!
You are amazing. Seriously, this post is so amazing and I want to share it with the world because it’s so honest, so smart, so raw. But above all, I know you are experiencing pain and frustration so I send you my peace and comfort angels to help you through the toughest moments. Please keep on being the Recovery Warrior Princess!!!!!!! You have a big cheerleader and friend over here… <3
this was a great post!! like reading a kids story book, albeit with more serious content! its important to remember that with a down comes and up, if u perservere through it! ed throws stuff at us, but we dont need to catch it! we can grab a racket and hit it right back at anorexia!
F is for the fun, fabulous fantastic person you are!
xxxxxxxxxxx
Frick-fracking recovery warrior princess INDEED.
I loved this post. LOVED. I could probably write an entire post about why I loved this post. Everything you said rang SO TRUE.
Keep it up, dear. You are fabulous!
YOU CAN DO ANYTHING GOOD!!!!!!!!!
)))))))
This post made me smile. But it also made me want to cry because this all sounded a bit too familiar. I’ve been there. I am there. I’m with you. I agree that sometimes laughter is the only way to get through these situations. It’s good to have a light heart. In fact, think it’s necessary. You can do this!
And stay away from hunger island! Eek!
You just made my day, Missy! I love this post and am super proud of you! YOU SHOULD be too
Cute animations, btw hehe. xo. KEEP IT UP, love!
What a creative post! Sometimes it is important to be light-hearted about such grave things.
You’re hilarious. I love you. I also love this: “Frick-Fracking Recovery Warrior Princess.” I want to steal that. And crown myself with it.
But YOU, my dear, are certainly a warrior. I’m so proud of you. Fight on!!
I know about feeling uncomfortably full… often these days. Yet I try to stick to my meal plan and am doing quite a good job!
A huge hug dear… keep on getting better! You too;)
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