Recently I waited for the cable guy from 8am to 5pm. I repeat. 8am to 5pm.
Glued to my cell phone. Confined to my apartment. No internet. Expecting him any….minute….now. From 8. am. To 5. pm.
I did not take well to this.
I went Nuts.
Literally
I’ve developed a nut roasting swagger and I made two more savory batches. An herbed variety and my “nicely spicely” blend. Special ingredient is a kiss blown into the oven if you wanna know my secret. Recipes in the comments of this post.
I’ve SUCH difficulty simply chilling out. I’d love to sit still…watch TV for hours. Loaf around. Just to prove I can.
Zoe Can. Zoe takes very well to this.
This is my version of “loafing around”
Sugar Free-Flour Free Oatmeal Raisin Loaf. So simple. Tastes like….wait for it….a sugar-free, flour-free loaf. (0: Recipes in the comments.
And sugar-free flour free pumpkin loaf. Mmm…Libbys. Le purr. Best thing ever to come from a can. Aren’t these little guys cute? Perfect for a single gal like me.
Veg-ing out, I made several batches of hummus and yummus, natch.
Forget ants. I’ve antelopes in my pants.
(oh dear…that sounds bad)
I don’t need to constantly be productive and industrious (I wouldn’t mind that). I just have trouble “being” present in the moment. Accepting myself as is – someone who is not broken. Someone whole.
I do not take well to this.
I hate feeling so uncomfortable in my own flesh. Its by far the most brutal and punishing part of my eating disorder.
I’ve been practicing being mindful and staying present in my body. Sitting with my feelings, with my “me-ness.” This morning I decided to assume a proper meditation posture and go at it.
(For awesome insight on meditation and recovery see Dana’s post)
Does it still count if your camera’s self-timer is beeping through the first few breaths?
*blushing* I proceeded to take about 3 ujayi deep breaths and bounced. (I wanted a grapefruit and I had to walk the dog and take out the recycling and call my mom and I wanted to write…and….)
Point is, I’m Practicing.
How about you?
Are you loafers or antelope-pants?
